If you played for the Cleveland Indians, you'd probably want to change your identity
like Fausto Carmona did. But the veteran pitcher may have gone a little too far.
He was arrested in the Dominican last February while trying to get his visa to come
to the United States in time for spring training.
Authorities said that Carmona's real name is Roberto Hernandez Heredia and that
he's 31-years old, not 28, as the Indians media guide states. A Dominican or
Venezuelan fudging his age? No, way! That NEVER happens. (Wink, wink. See
Miquel Tejada and about 100 other players.)
I will give Roberto Hernandez Heredia credit for being creative. You just can't pull
the name Fausto Carmona out of a hat. It takes a real imagination to come up with
a name like that.
This could be the biggest identity theft since Michael Vick used the name, Ron Mexico,
to pick up his order of medication for herpes.
I'll never forget the sight of people walking around Atlanta with number 7 Falcon jerseys
with the name, "Mexico"on the back. Classic. How did Vick come up with the name, Ron
If I could steal ten names for one day, here are the ones I'd pick:
10. BUSTER CRABBE. Former Olympic gold medalist
in swimming, who was also an actor. Played the original
9. DINN MANN. Editor-in-Chief and brains of MLB.com.
Great guy with a name that has perfect balance. Four letters
and two n's in each name.
8. I.M. HIPP. Played running back at Nebraska when they
were dominant. He was also big on the local bar scene,
telling the ladies, "I.M. HIPP". He was also money.
7. FRENCHY FUQUA. Former defensive back on the great
Steelers teams in the '70's. He was so cool, he used to
wear clear elevator shoes with live goldfish in them.
6. JOHN "BLUE MOON" ODOM. Former pitcher
with the Oakland A's in 70's.
5. WAVE RYDER. Defensive back for Navy. His
parents must have been surfers in Cali, dropping
some serious acid to come up with this name. Or
have the stones to, anyway.
4. BRONCO NAGURSKI. This names oooozes with
toughness. What else would he be besides a hall
of fame football player.
3. COCO CRISP. Well, it'd be great at parties and
for a good laugh.
2. JARVIS REDWINE. He came after I.M. Hipp
at Nebraska and also played running back.
1. FABIAN ASSMAN. Soccer player in Europe and
burden with two bad names that somehow come
together. "Hi, I'm Fabian Assman". Excuse me?
You're Mr. Assman?