Tuesday, November 29, 2011


The union between the Red Sox and Bobby Valentine is like
the wedding that brings two drop-dead gorgeous people together.
They look like the perfect match and everybody says, "Aw, don't
they seem so happy?" But as soon as the honeymoon
is over, it's Armegeddon. The ego, narcissism, and self-absorbtion
takes over and a once seemingly beautiful relationship ends
quicker than you can say Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries.

The Red Sox and Valentine will get more than 72-days to co-exist,
but like that joke of a marriage between Kardashian and
Humphries, this "Dream Team" is going to come apart like the
Philadelphia Eagles, quickly. Michael Vick and company entered
the year with a lot of hype and talent, but little chemistry.
Bobby V and the Red Sox are headed down the same road.
And when this turns, it's going to get real ugly, real fast.

Valentine is all about Bobby Valentine, always has been, always
will be. He is a "look at me" type of guy who knows where
every camera is and which microphone to speak into. Yes,
Valentine is media savvy and he pulled a lot of the right strings
in New York. But Boston is an entirely different beast. It is
one team, 24/7, for the entire year. As  Terry Francona found out,
the pressure in New England can suffocate you, rip your insides-
out, and break up a marriage. And that can happen even when
you've had unprecedented success like Francona did.

Francona had the perfect temperament for Boston. He was
in control and relaxed. He took bullets for his players even
when it made him look bad to the people on the outside.
Valentine will lay on a sword for no one and he's been known
to warm up the bus and then throw you under it. He takes
over a veteran-laden and talent-rich team that was comfortable
with Francona, (with the exception of Lackey, Lester, and Beckett)
and very loyal to him. Valentine has been known to rub a lot
of people the wrong way. Murray Chass, the legendary baseball
writer,recently described Valentine as the "most disliked man in
baseball." I asked a friend who played for Valentine with the Mets,
to tell me his experience with Bobby V. He just shook his head
without making a comment.

Somewhere along the line, Bobby V got tagged with the "great
baseball man" label, which is akin to Bill Belichick being tattooed
as a "genius" in football. The one BIG difference: Belichick has
won and won often. Bobby V has won nothing, unless you count
winning the Japanese World Series as something. Good grief.
Oh, yeah, he got to the 2000 Fall Classic with the New York
Mets, but nobody every remembers who finished second,
especially when they hammered in five games. Francona
won two World Series titles with Boston, yet nobody ever
put him on a pedestal like a lot of people have with Valentine.

I admire what Valentine has done as an athlete, especially
growing up in Stamford, CT where he was a football player
that was so talented, he got a scholarship to play running
back for USC. He was a phenomenal athlete, who might
still be upset that his FCIAC high school record for hits
in a season was broken by yours truly. But the chemistry
between he and the Red Sox will not work.

The "look at me" type of athletes and coaches don't play
well with the Boston crowd. They were raised on Bird, Orr,
Williams, and Brady and expect their stars to play hard
and be humble. The fans in Boston are among the most
knowledgeable in the country. They see right through frauds.
They will see right through Bobby V. This will not end well.

Monday, November 28, 2011


He has two national championships, Tim Tebow on speed-dial,
and one of the coolest names on earth. Now, Urban Meyer has
the keys to the Ohio State kingdom and a ridiculous six-year
contract that could be worth $40 million when it's all said and
done. But according to Meyer, who spent the past year as an
analyst for ESPN, it wasn't an easy decision for him to come
back to the game.

 After six years at Florida, Meyer was burnt out and in a "dark place",
thanks to health issues and the guilt associated with being an absentee
father. However, hitting the Ohio Powerball and the chance to coach
in his home state helped Meyer heal faster than a hopeless crowd
at a Joel Osteen Bible study.

At Monday's introductory press conference, here is what Meyer
said and what he was actually thinking.

"If not for the coaching position at Ohio State, I would not have
coached this year,"

"I would've coached at Ball State if it meant not going back
to Bristol next year and hearing Stuart Scott go, "Boo-Yeah!!"
all day.

"A year ago in my mind I was convinced I was done coaching,"
"I've been checked out and I'm ready to go."

"I don't care if I was in a strait-jacket and coaching like Pete
Carroll. If somebody offers you $40 million, you get healthy
or fake it and double up on the Prozac." 

At Florida in 2010, there were 31 arrests involving 25 of Meyer's
players dating to the summer of 2005, according to the Orlando Sentinel.
Meyer acknowledged these issues Monday but said the numbers
were exaggerated. (Of course, they were)

"We did not have bad guys. Did they make stupid mistakes? Yes.
We're going to try to recruit really good people to represent
Ohio State."

"Will we have some stupid players? Of course, we're dealing
with Ohio here. I just hope the ones that represent Ohio State
don't gamble like Art Schlichter, pack a pistol the way Maurice
Clarett did, crave tattoos like Terrell Pryor or be as brain dead
as Andy Katzenmoyer was.

While at Florida "I tried to do other people's jobs, maybe to a fault,"
he conceded.  "Trying to cure NCAA issues, agent issues, drug issues."

"Half of those kids at Florida couldn't spell their name and smoked
more dope than an NBA team. I had to coach, babysit, and keep
them eligible. If Jim Tressel spent half as much time keeping
his players off the police blotter as he did pressing his sweater-vest,
we wouldn't be here.

"I don't want to be one of those coaches that sleeps in his

"I don't want to be one of those coaches that sleeps in his
office----unless Erin Andrews is there." 


Sunday, November 27, 2011


Remember back in September when Maryland opened their season
by beating Miami in their mind-altering, must've-been-in-on-LSD-when
designed uniforms? New coach Randy Edsall proclaimed he was going
to help change the perception of Terp football? Everybody in college
football was talking about Maryland in the first week of September.

On Saturday, the university finished a season that ranks as one of the
worst in school history. With their new coach and new Under Armour
uniforms, the Terps finished 2-10. And they did it in grand fashion
blowing a 27-point third quarter lead to NC State. That's like the Yankees
coughing up a 10-run lead in the 8th inning. Not only that, they
lost by double digits in a game they were leading by 27 points!

Maryland lost seven straight games by double digits for the first time
in school history. Coach Randy Edsall led Maryland to seven fewer
victories than the Terrapins had in 2010. That matches the second-largest
decline by a first-year coach of a major-conference program in the
past half-century.

They fired Ralph Friedgen, the 2010 ACC Coach of the Year for
this? In 10 years at Maryland, Friedgen compiled a record of 75-50
with 7 bowl appearances. Keep in mind that in the 10 years prior to
Friedgen, the Terps had one, just one winning season and went
to ZERO bowl games, none, nada, the big goose egg.

Maryland thought it could do better than Friedgen. Kevin Plank,
Maryland graduate, Under Armour founder, and de factor athletic director
for the Terps, thought he could change the "image" and perception
of Maryland football with those ridiculous uniforms. That's a problem
with our society today, where many feel its style over substance
and perception over reality. What's the perception of Maryland
football now? It's far worse than what it was with Friedgen, who
squeezed blood from a rock with the talent that he had. I'm sure
Maryland would love to have a 9-4 record, which happened in
Friedgen's last year.

Friedgen was nearly 400 pounds. He didn't fit the CEO image
of a football program that most big-time schools go for these days.
All Friedgen did was win. But Maryland saw the image and the
perception, and thought they could do better. Even with their
new uniforms and new coach, Maryland will never get better
than where Friedgen took them. The school is the bottom feeder
of the ACC with facilities, campus, academic reputation, and
recruiting base that are severely lacking. No recruit is going
to travel across the county just to wear those hideous uniforms

I detest these schools who always think they can do better
without looking at the facts or in the mirror. The University of
Georgia, who got lucky and won a national championship with
Herschel Walker back in the early 1980's, think it's their annual
rite to be playing for the crystal trophy. They almost fired Mark
Richt, who had a winning percentage of .850 last year. Good
thing, they stood pat. After losing their first two games,  the
ripped off 10 straight wins and will play LSU next week for
the SEC Championship. That's pretty good, right?

Administrators, boosters, and Kevin Plank are so disillusioned
by what they think they should be. Maryland was pretty good
with Ralph Friedgen, but just not good enough for the
aforementioned three. Maryland took three big steps with
Friedgen and 100 back with Edsall and their new uniforms.

After their total collapse to NC State, Edsall said, "We're going
to sit down and evaluate everything."

That's what the administration should've done after 2010 when
Friedgen led them to a 9-4 record. If Maryland had done that they
might've realized they had things pretty good.

Friday, November 25, 2011


Buried beneath all the college football game highlights and the
dissection of Ndamukong Suh's stomp felt around the world, was
a small blurb about Sue Paterno, wife of the disgraced legendary
football coach at Penn State. JoePa's wife is an avid swimmer
who did her laps at the pool located inside the football facility
for many, many years. That was until the school, whom JoePa
put on the map, fired as its football icon amid the child-abuse
scandal. Sue arrived for her usual early-morning workout and
was told she could no longer use the facility. The former first
lady of Penn State, was being treated no better than a homeless
woman pushing her cart around State College. Sad, oh so very sad.
The visual of an elderly lady getting turned away from the
same facility that was virtually built by her husband who coached
there for more than 60 years is sad. The entire mess has turned
the smiles in Happy Valley upside down and they will remain
that way for quite some time.

Starting with the victims, the young boys who lost their innocence
to an alleged monster in Jerry Sandusky, a long-time defensive
coordinator, whom many  in his "Second Mile" had come to
trust and lean on for guidance. It doesn't get much more depressing
and heinous than young boys get raped by a man who was 50-something.
It is sick, sad, and something that has forever stained the entire
university, much less the football program.

Every student-athlete, coach, administrator, who has graduated
from Penn State and matriculates there now will always have to
deal with the stigma of a child abuse scandal and an alleged
cover-up. Morale and the life of all of them has been sucked
out of  because  the world has a radar-lock on Penn State,
the school where helpless children who couldn't protect themselves,
were done wrong by people who could have.

Joe Paterno, who had been built up as a man of impeccable
character, integrity, and honesty, saw 60 years of good will
and good work, come crashing down like a house of cards.
Few people could ever say a bad word about Paterno, now
you can't find many who will say anything at all about
a coach who has the most victories in college football history.
That's how life sometimes works, a king one day, a pariah
the next. It's sad, oh so very sad. It'll be hard to find a situation
or scandal that produces as much gut-wrenching sadness as
the one at Penn State. Little boys  got raped, an elaborate
cover-up to save a school and its reputation was exposed, and
the king, Paterno, and all his men, came crashing down, and his wife
can no longer use the pool. How sad it all is. How very, very

Thursday, November 24, 2011


    HIM TO FIGHT. In 2000, Marty McSorley, a known NHL
    gangsta, almost decapitated Donald Brashear, another tough guy
    who made his name and money fighting on the ice. Brashear, playing
    for the Vancouver Canucks at the time, was knocked out before

he even hit the ice. McSorley, playing for the Bruins, had been
Wayne Gretzky's bodyguard when the two played in Edmonton
and Los Angeles was suspended immediately and never heard
from again. His excuse for the despicable act? "I was just trying
to pick a fight."

    During a game against Tampa Bay in 2003, the former Cubs
    slugger broke his bat and out came enough cork to keep a
    battleship afloat. Just as he did during the Congressional hearings
    when he claimed to not understand English, Sosa played dumb
    and said he mistakenly used the bat he normally does for batting
    practice, which was corked, and took it to the plate in the real
    game. Really? I mean, really?

    In the semifinals of the 2009 U.S. Open, Serena Williams was
    called for a foot fault then told the linesman, "If I could, I would shove
    this ball down your throat." The linesman also claimed that Williams
    threatened to kill her. Williams' response, "maybe she misheard me.
    I've never been in a fight in my life so I don't know why she thought
    I would threaten her." Williams was raised on the mean streets of
    Compton, California. She might not have been in an Uzi fight, a
    knife fight, or a fight with nunchucks, but to say that you've never
    been in a fight? I'm not buying it.

    BAT AND A BALL. During the 2000 World Series, Roger Clemens
    jammed up Mike Piazza of the New York Mets. The head of Piazza's
    bat went out to Clemens who made an impressive one-handed stab.
    Clemens then threw the sawed-off bat at Piazza who was running down
    the first baseline. Piazza and everyone in the world was stunned. During
    the ensuing argument, Clements said, "I thought it was the ball." So
    if you thought it was the ball, wouldn't you throw it to first base to
    record an out? You thought it was the ball? Many thought it was
    the effects of Roid Rage.

1. NA-'DUMB'-KONG SUH. The bad boy of the Detroit Lions
    gave thanks to Evan Dietrick-Smith by trying to stomp the stuffing
    out of the Green Bay Packers lineman. First, Suh pounded the guy's
    head into the turf like he was making cranberry sauce, then he gets
    up and puts a Nike imprint on Dietrick-Smith's chest and arm with
    his size 16 triple-wides. Suh said he was just trying to "remove
    himself from the situation." He just created a new method for
    defensive linemen everywhere and said this with a straight face,

   "My intention was not to kick anybody, as I did not, removing
     myself," he said. "I was on top of a guy, being pulled down,
     and trying to get up off the ground -- and why you see me pushing
     his helmet down, because I'm trying to remove myself from the
     situation, and as I'm getting up, I'm getting pushed, so I'm getting
     myself on balance."

     Yep, next Thanksgiving when I lose my balance, I'm going to
      stomp on grandma-ma to keep from falling in the sweet potatoes.


10. STEVIE WILLIAMS. Stevie-boy made sure he was the most
talked about caddy in the history of the game in about a six month
period. He got fired by Tiger Woods, whom he teamed up to win
12 majors. Then he was hired by Adam Scott and they won their
first tournament together. After walking down the 18th fairway
to chants of "Stevie! Stevie! Stevie!, he was more than happy to
give an interview where he proclaimed this victory in a non-major
to be the "greatest in my life." A definite dig at his former master.
But then, during a banquet for caddies, Williams got full of himself
again and said he wanted to beat "Tiger's black a---" That's real
class. Williams has gone back to being one of the most hated men
in golf.

honor for firing Ralph Friedgen, the reigning ACC Coach of the
Year and wearing those ridiculous uniforms manufactured by
Under Armour and their Maryland graduate and de facto athletic
director, Kevin Plank. Both Plank and Maryland both wanted to
make a statement and change the perception of the football program.
Boy, did they ever. The Terps, for all their pomp and circumstance
are 2 and 9. Image is nothing.

8. TIKI BARBER. Tough year for Tiki. He leaves his pregnant
wife for a 23-year old NBC groupie, gets fired from his job. Hid
out in his agents home to avoid the press and compares himself to
Holocaust victims. Then Tiki tries to jump-start his NFL career and
make a comeback but guess what? Not a single team even bothered
to invite him to training camp. What's that saying about Karma?
It certainly found Tiki the Turkey.

7. JORGE POSADA. With an average hovering near .160, the
Yankees catcher was moved to ninth in the the order by manager
Joe Giradi. Posada had one big hissy fit and told his boss and
former teammate a day off to "clear my head". This all happened
against the Red Sox on national television. How do you think this
one played out? Posada was portrayed as another entitled self-
absorbed athlete who got all bent out of shape when he got what
he deserved. This is one big chink on a career that was pretty
darn good before this year.

6. MIKE LEAKE. The Cincinnati Reds pitcher took a detour
to the local mall before going to the park and stole a few designer
t-shirts from a store. The value of the shirts was under $150.
Seriously, Mike. You were making over $500,000 did you really
need to rip off the shirts? Store cameras caught Leake in the cookie
jar and he was arrested. Leake took a nice mug shot, though.

5. TERRELL OWENS. The controversial receiver announced
himself and fit and ready to go during an "exclusive" ESPN interview
with Screamin' A. Smith. During this strange sit-down with Smith,
T.O. announced he was retiring with his family, who could've made
for great cigar store Indians, behind him. T.O. then said, "you're
fooled" to Smith who had egg on his face. A few weeks later,
T.O had a 10-egg omelet on his mug after he had a personal
workout and not a single NFL team showed up. Nothing. Crickets.

4. KRIS HUMPHRIES. In a Ryan Seacrest production,
Kim Kardashian certainly picked a big turkey to play the fool.
Humphries, who tries to play basketball for the New Jersey Nets
gave Kim an engagement ring that cost $2 million, or $2 million
more than his current salary during the NBA lockout. After an
extravagant made-for-tv wedding that cost $20 million or $20
million more than his current salary during the NBA lockout,
Humphries got the boot after just 72-days. Can't wait until the
season starts again so we can hear NBA players talk trash
to the former Mr. Kardashian. Charles Barkley, Gary Payton,
and Michael Jordan might just come of retirement to abuse

3. JIM TRESSEL-BRUCE PEARL. The former coaches
of Ohio State and Tennessee, respectively, had great, high-
profile, high-paying jobs and were extremely successful. But
when they got caught cheating, they made things worse by
lying to cover it up. And they lost everything because of it.
Both were fired.

The triumvirate of Boston Red Sox pitchers were outed for
eating chicken wings, drinking beer, and playing video games
in the clubhouse while the rest of the team was battling in a
pennant race. Lackey was up for the top turkey of the year
for calling out a member of the Boston media for sending him
a personal text 30 minutes before a game he was starting.
Turns out it was from TMZ asking about his divorce from
a wife who is battling breast cancer.

1. MANNY RAMIREZ. Once a Hall of Fame lock, Ramirez
left the game in shame after failing a test for performance-enhancing
drugs before the beginning of last season. Technically, it was
his third failed drug test and he was going to be suspended for
100 games. Instead of taking the heat, Ramirez took the next flight
home to the islands. Manny being Manny suddenly wasn't so cool.
The most feared right-handed hitter the game had ever seen is
now it's biggest joke.

Monday, November 21, 2011


Sexual molestation, infidelity, murder, cheating, lying, lockouts
....it's all been part of a sports world that's turning into a one
giant cess pool. This guy is going to prison for selling drugs,
that guy got caught using performance-enhancing drugs and
blamed it on tainted meat, blah, blah, blah. It's getting rather
nauseating, isn't?

Then a guy like Tim Tebow, who is squeaky clean, comes along
and a lot of people seem hell bent on trying to dirty him up. The
Denver Broncos quarterback seems to be about the only thing
in the sports world that hasn't been stained by scandal, ego, and
greed. Tebow always says the right things, treats everyone with
respect, and now is helping his team win football games. Yet,
everyone wants to find the chinks in his armour. They make fun
of his "Tebowing", the act of going on one-knee to pray to somebody
up above. Opponents, media members, and fans everywhere make
fun of him.

There have been plenty of experts and analysts to mock him and
his ability as well. Tebow can't drop back, throw, read a defense,
or do anything except, well, win. He has won four of his five NFL
starts and has pumped new life into a team that had been on life-
support after the first five weeks of the season. John Fox, the Broncos
said that if Tebow had to play in a pro-style offense, "he'd be
screwed". How's that for confidence in your starting quarterback?

Why are people so quick to criticize Tebow? Is it because he
seems too good to be true? Do they hate the fact that he brings
religion into the stadium every week? Or do people hate the
fact that the former Florida Gator icon has a life that isn't as
quite as miserable as theirs? It's probably a combination of all

Tebow is turning out to be Doug Flutie with two extra growth
sports. Like Flutie, he's a Heisman winning quarterback who
did superhuman things while he was in college. Flutie, like Tebow,
had plenty of haters, too. Most of them were NFL scouts who
said said Flutie was too short and couldn't play in an NFL-style
offense. After playing in the USFL in Canada, Flutie came
back to prove them all wrong. He had great flashes and won
some games for the Buffalo Bills before being replaced by
somebody who was bigger, stronger, and much better looking
when it came to playing quarterback.

That will happen to Tebow, eventually. His flaws when slinging
the football, might be too much to overcome. Teams will eventually
figure out a way to stop him in the last five minutes of the game,
and he'll eventually be replaced. It may be in the next three games or
the next three years, but he's not long for the NFL.

But right now, his teammates believe in him and Tebow is
proving that he can win, perhaps not play at high-level, but
win. He may be winning "ugly" but Tebow is winning, and
that's the bottom line in the NFL. However, his attitude,
charisma, and character is certainly refreshing. I've grown
tired of writing about liars, cheaters, and ego-driven millionaires.

Sunday, November 20, 2011


We live in a society of front-runners and users. There are some
people we can't stand, but still befriend them because they can
help us get more money, a better job, or great tickets to the Super
Bowl. People will be friends with you until they deem you no
longer useful or helpful to them, or you become unpopular with
a certain crowd and it's bad for their image to be seen with you.
They'll only do the right thing if it's right for them and it keeps
them in good standing with the right people.

Last week, child abuse allegations were made against Syracuse
assistant basketball coach Bernie Fine. In the wake of the Penn
State mess, people have already convicted Fine of being a sexual
predator and friends have run away from him quicker than Usain
Bolt pulls away from the field in the 100 meter dash. In the court
of public opinion, Fine is a child molester, pervert, and someone
with serious problems. He may be exonerated down the road, but
his reputation has been ruined forever. There will always be the
uncomfortable stares and the people who turn the other way when
they see Fine coming. Jim Boeheim is not going to be one of them.

Boeheim, the Hall of Fame  basketball coach of the Orange, has
worked side-by-side with Fine for the last 36 years and has known
him for a half-century. When the world was throwing Fine into
the same cess pool as Jerry Sandusky, Boeheim stood up for his
friend and told anyone who would listen that he believed in
Fine's innocence.

“I have been friends with Coach Fine for 50 years," Boeheim
said last week. " And that buys a lot of loyalty from me and
it should."

Boeheim, unlike most people, doesn't believe loyalty is a
one-way street. He should be applauded for not turning
his back on a friend who dedicated his life to helping him
turn Syracuse into a national power. Beoheim should be praised
for not selling out a friend who made tremendmous and personal
sacrifices to help the team and athletes become the best it could
be. It's been said that you find out who your real friends are when
adversity strikes. Fine has a real friend in Boeheim.

A lot of coaches in Boeheim's position would have rinsed their
hands of Fine as quick as the allegations came down. Few of them
would want anything to do with a person who's being accused of
child molestation, after all, it's not good for their image and "legacies".

Critics and crisis management "experts" say that Boeheim is
"risking everything" in defending his friend.  Everything being
his job, reputation, and legacy. It's bold and refreshing to hear
Boeheim pretty much say, "to hell with those things." Boeheim
is not going to sell out a friend and is taking a stand in the face
of public criticism, believing in his friend and what he thinks
is right. And there are no shortage of people who have criticized
the stance Boeheim is taking.

"If you can get in trouble for supporting a friend you’ve known
for almost 50 years, I don’t want to live in that country,” Boeheim said
last week. “Is that clear? And yet people are saying stuff like that.
That’s sad. That’s a sad world. When you can’t be loyal to your
friends, I don’t like that world.” Neither do I.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011


When I was growing up I was a big fan of the "The White Shadow".
Man, did I love watching Thorpe and Salami play some hoop
for Carver High School. But there was nobody like Coolidge.
He was the "aircraft carrier" long before Dick Vitale tagged every
big man in college with that moniker. Coolidge dominated in
high school and he was cool. He had the high white socks, the

gold chain, and that afro. Coolidge was listed at 6'8" in the program
but that was before he let the 'fro grow out. I'm convinced he
was a 7-footer when got his 'fro to sprout out like a Chia Pet.
That was the mid-70's, a time when people experimented with sex,
drugs, and style. Bell bottom jeans and elevator shoes were in, while
Afro's were trying to get there. I was a big sports fan back then and
I saw this fascinating athlete with a magical nickname show up with
the New York Nets with an afro that was majestic.

Dr. J, was Michael Jordan before Michael Jordan and I found him
to be way cooler than Coolidge. The guy could jump out the gym,
but I always worried about him scraping his head on the ceiling
because of his afro. It was awesome. I tried to grow an afro, but
it just didn't work out. I could grow it long, but I could never get it
to stand straight up for some reason. The 'fro was really growing on
me, though. When the Yankees traded for a guy named Oscar Gamble,
I found myself watching every Yankee game, even though the Mets
were my favorite team.

Nobody who watched the Yankees could ever take their eyes off
Oscar Gamble and his afro. Many people thought he was just going
to fly away, his afro parted into what seemed like a pair of wings.
It was never, "Oscar Gamble has great power and can hit some home
runs", but rather, "Look at that dude, that afro is awwwwww-some!"

When Oscar Gamble retired in the late 70's, so did the afro. It seemed
like it was extinct. I'd watch "Yankees Classic" every once in awhile
with the hope that I'd see Oscar and his afro one more time. But I
never did, it was gone, never to be seen again. But the afro tried to
make its way back in sports over the last 5 years or so. I guess it's
like everything in fashion, if you're around long enough, things eventually
come back around----and afro's did, for a little while.

Coco Crisp, in what seemed to be a tribute to Oscar Gamble brought
back the big 'fro last year with the Oakland A's. But to be honest with
you, it seemed kind of forced and silly. Why was Oscar Gamble's 'fro
so intriguing? Perhaps, because he was really the first and most recognizable
player to have one. Coco's fro seemed to be a bad imitation of Oscar
Gamble. (And I know I'm being repetitive but you can't just say Oscar
or Gamble, they belong together.)

When Dimitri Young played with the Detroit Tigers five years ago,
"The Meat Hook" let his hair down and out and up. At least it was
original, but if you're a pitcher facing Young, how could you really
keep a straight face. That afro could best be described as "electric",
as in Young stuck his finger in an electric socket and got that.

Phil Spector had the best afro of any white man in the history of
the world. The former record producer who worked with Tina Turner
along with other legends on his way to 25 top 40 songs in his career.
I can guarantee Spector is not looking like the above pictures. He's serving
19 years in prison for murder. Must've been the hair. Had to be the hair.

Randy Moss did a lot of unusual things during his career, but the
afro he wore in his first stint with the Minnesota Vikings, was, um,
interesting to stay the least. It sure made for some great conversation
at the watercooler, didn't? I think the afro, unfortunately, is just like
Moss, gone forever. Man, but Oscar Gamble sure had a cool one.




Dalton has never acted, but neither did Jennifer
Hudson before she won an Oscar in her debut.
The red-headed QB is big and rugged like McQueary.



Billy Bob Thornton is a great actor and he's
a little creepy like Sandusky. Appreared in
the movie, "Friday Night Lights" where he
played a football coach. Perfect for the role.



Ross played roles in such sports movie
classics as "Major League" and "Hoosiers".
Talented actor who will play Amendola to a T.




Veteran actor Chris Cooper would be
the perfect man to play fired president
Graham Spanier. As we've seen in his
many critically acclaimed performances,
Cooper can't adapt to virtually any role.




After Cain pulled out of the presidential race
because of  30 more sexual harassment claims
against him, he can get to work on making
his Hollywood debut in the Penn State movie.

              JOE PATERNO


I know of only one man who can play Joe
Paterno and it's Joe Pesci. They are of the
same height and if you put those dark,
coke bottle glasses that Paterno wears
on Pesci, he would be a dead ringer for the
former Penn State coach.