10. Can't Wait! to see Brandon Marshall so I can rip him about his
wife trying to gut him like Hanibel Lecter with a steak knife.
Going to send along some fava beans and chianti.
9. Can't Wait! to see Mark Sanchez and explain to him the difference
between a 16-year old girl and a 21-year old. It's usually a dead
giveaway when she says, "wait, I have to put my retainer in before
I go to bed."
8. Can't Wait! to see the new Rex Ryan foot fetish videos. Sexy
Rexy and his wife have been working on two blockbusters,
"Feet gone wild", and "This little piggy went to the market."
7. Can't Wait! to see Antonio Cromartie on Father's day. With
9 kids by 7 different woman, he's going to need some name tags.
6. Can't Wait! to see Tom Brady and rag on him for dancing like
Pee Wee Herman in that video from Brazil. And Can't Wait! to
send him some tissue after seeing him break down in that
"Brady 6" piece cause he didn't get drafted in the third round.
5. Can't Wait! to see Braylon Edwards and congratulate him for
not getting arrested in the off-season. For once.
4. Can't Wait! to see Vernon Gholston. Oh, wait a minute, they
finally cut his ass. He was the biggest failure in Gang Green
since Rich Kotite was wearing a fake nose and glasses on the
sideline. What? They weren't fake? My bad.
3. Can't Wait! to see Tiki Barber and recommend that he keeps
himself retired. You left your pregnant wife with no class,
NBC fired you, and no NFL team wants you. There's always
2. Can't Wait! to tell Rex Ryan to keep his fat mouth shut. The guy
guarantees a Super Bowl win every year and it's getting old. How
can so much garbage come out of his mouth at the same time
so much is going in? At least he kept his shirt on this off-season
and didn't flip anybody the bird.
1. Can't Wait! for this NFL lockout to end so I can cash in on all
this "Can't Wait!" stuff.