Monday, July 11, 2016

NEW CANAAN'S "MEAN" STREETS FOR BODY CAMERAS


The world is crumbling all around us. Cops are caught on tape killing people, people
seeking revenge are ambushing cops and killing them, the FBI lets Hillary off
the hook for her e-mails, and Donald Trump, who could be the next leader of our
country, is offending everybody with a pulse.

Yes, things have gotten pretty bad in the good 'ole U.S. of A.

They've gotten so bad that even in New Canaan, CT., a near-perfect town along the
state's gold coast and affectionately known as "the next station to heaven," there is unrest
and controversy.

You see, in this picturesque town that Norman Rockwell would've loved to have
painted, things are simmering. The streets which are often lined with BMW's, Mercedes,
Range Rovers, and Suburban's big enough to fit the Brady Bunch in comfortably,
have become a bit, um, mean.

No, not mean in the Bronx, Mount Vernon, and Bridgeport kind of way, But rather,
mean in the preppy, Vineyard Vines, my house in Nantucket is bigger than your house
in Nantucket, kind of style.




And oh, yeah, mean as in, "if you dare to put a friggin' ticket on my freshly-detailed
Bentley, I'm going to sue your ass to kingdom come" type of way. Residents, most of
whom are in higher tax brackets than 95 percent of professional athletes in this world,
are putting the fear of God (and their greatness) into parking officers over tickets.

Yep, parking tickets!


Might be time to call in the national guard to help handle this monumental issue.

Instead, the town has sought a kinder, gentler, way of trying to diffuse the preppy
madness. They have outfitted the parking officers with body cameras. No, you're eyes
are correct and you read that right. The parking officers are wearing $3,600 body
cameras to catch all those Wall Street CEO's imposing their rudeness on the parking
ticket patrol.

As Leslie Nielsen's character famously said in the movie, "Airplane":


Totally serious.

Cops are killing people on camera, then getting murdered themselves and New Canaan
is worried about "volatile" debates over parking tickets? I have to laugh out loud.

This is just too funny. I'm half-expecting Larry David to show up in New Canaan to
film an episode on the subject for "Curb Your Enthusiasm."  When will Keith Morrison
from Dateline NBC arrive on the scene for "Mayhem on Main Street: parking ticket
tantrums."?

Good grief.

This is a town where Harry Connick, Jr., Paul Simon, and Brian Williams (yes, that
Brian Williams) call home. Nothing bad ever really happens here. Oh, yeah, Simon called
9-1-1 last year after his wife was allegedly abusing him in some mean kind of way.

They both got arrested.


I guess in this day and age, every town has to have a little controversy and the parking
ticket conudrum is it for New Canaan. But body cameras for parking officers?

You have got to be kidding me.

One media outlet reported that New Canaan is the first town in the state to outfit
parking officers with body cameras. Ya think? It wouldn't exactly be going out on
a limb stating New Canaan is the first town in the entire free world to purchase body
cameras for parking officials.

You just can't make this stuff up.

3 comments:

  1. Paul, I have never seen an article so contrived. I have also never felt so compelled as to respond to something like this.. Yes, they are getting body cameras to minimize and record volatile situations that take place in New Canaan. Why this offends you I am not sure, you very clearly hold contempt for the town. The fact that police officers are killing/being killed on a regular basis, as you have mentioned, only substantiates the idea that body cameras are necessary. You also fail to notice that citizens will be protected in doing this and hold police responsible. Ultimately, you are vehemently bad-mouthing a decision that ensures both people and police are held accountable for their actions. I encourage you to subdue your arrogant and jealous tone and consider your true motives for writing this article: trash-talking a wealthy town for spending money. With the world, as you describe it, "crumbling all around us," who are you to criticize progress?

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    Replies
    1. Shirley you can't be serious. Please don't put the violence occurring around the country in the same sentence as elm street in new Canaan. Not even close. This was a tongue in cheek article but why is NC the only town on America to get body cameras for parking ticket officials? One ot two "incidences" doesn't make for a problem. Were the offenders carrying weapons? Have criminal records? Physically abuse a ticketer? I got threatened and harassed in church on xmss day, should the priest get s body camera too? Body cameras for ticket officers in NC? Good grief

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  2. Rob, has to be kidding Paul. It is a joke. :) We don't yet have body cams in Lake Forest, but maybe you can bring some when you come here next month. Why would you make a joke about your town if it wasn't deserved. As for being arrogant and jealous, can you be both at the same time? It's one or the other. I have never known you to be either, but I've only known you for 38 years. Maybe you developed that trait after moving back East. :) Anyway, I agree that it is a total waste of money! Feed & house some needy veterans instead. Peace be with you.

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