Jennry Mejia of the New York Mets tested positive for a banned substance for a third
time, thus earning a lifetime suspension by Major League Baseball.
Here are the Top 10 excuses Mejia will probably use for his stupidity.
10. David Ortiz gave me a piece of his meat and it was tainted.
9. I got over-the-counter supplements and they must've been laced with a PED.
8. The Valentine Day's chocolates I ripped open early from my girlfriend had to
be spiked with Boldenone
7. That weird looking dude from BALCO said they were gummy bears.
6. The B-12 shot Miguel Tejada gave Rafael Palmeiro must've gotten into my system.
5. The gel my stylist gave me must've seeped into my skull and caused the positive
test. I'm appealing.
4. Mike Piazza gave it to me. He said it worked for him so it should work for me.
3. Peyton Manning's wife shipped it to me. Blame her.
2. I rode Lance Armstrong's bike. It must've gotten into my system through his seat.
1. I was framed! MLB hated my hair and wanted me out of the game!