OK, let me get this straight. The NFL fined Clinton Portis in 2012 more than $15,000 because
of 'uniform violations'. The former running back of the Washington Redskins wore striped
socks and black shoes and the big, bad shield threw down the law and forced Portis to write a
check for 15 large because his uniform didn't fit league standards.
We've seen the NFL fine countless players over the years because they wore their socks too
low, had a jersey hanging out, or scribbled a tribute to a father on their eye black.
Petty and ridiculous to many, the violations are considered blasphemous by the NFL.
Yet on Thursday night, as part of its ingenious creation called "Color Rush" uniforms, the
league forced the Jacksonville Jaguars to wear the most god-awful outfits in the history of
sports. (The San Diego Padres brown tacos uniforms of the 80's, included).
Taking on the Tennessee Titans, who looked like the Blue Man group on steroids, every player
on the Jaguars, a squad masquerading as a real NFL team, was decked out in the ugliest shade
of mustard. Think Grey Poupon meets the brown in Cleveland's color scheme.
Who designed these uniforms, the same woman who sketched Tom Brady in a New York
court room looking as is he were on crystal meth?
The person at NFL headquarters dreampt up and created the uniforms of the Jaguars should
be forced to stand in front of Donald Trump while the Republican presidential candidate
screams, "You're a loser!," at him for three consecutive hours.
What the hell was this person thinking? What the hell is the NFL thinking for that matter?
How could Roger Goodell or any of the other 150 employees in the office look at the mustard uniforms and say, "Hey, this looks really good."
Does Goodell, the man who spent seven months obsessing over "Deflategate" while waving
his "integrity of the game" banner, really think the "Color Rush" gimmick is good for the
game? Oh, that's right! The league can make a few more millions selling these uniforms to
all those ding-bats who want to drop down $150 on a jersey just so they can take a selfie and
post them on Facebook, Twitter, and any other time-wasting social media vehicle this world is obsessed with.
Perhaps, the league wanted to become "trending" on Twitter or simply wanted people to
be screaming at the top of their lungs on sports talk radio come Friday morning. Yep, the
NFL knows all about marketing itself, that's for sure.
The mustard-stained uniforms of the Jaguars and the all-powdered blues of the Titans, comes
on the heels of the Jets-Bills game where the all-green and all-red uniforms of the respective
teams had color blind folks who tuned into the game going bat shit. The league said it would
look into the matter. Somehow, I don't think they are going to use the same high-powered
microscope one they employed during its investigation of deflated balls. Nor will they
pontificate over the uniforms like they did over PSI levels for nearly seven months.
I reckon the NFL figures they have to give people a reason to turn into a Jags-Titans
game because nobody was doing so because of the talent-level on the field.
Can't wait to see what the Dallas Cowboys and Carolina Panthers wear next Thursday