Tuesday, September 15, 2015
FACEBOOK + 'DISLIKE' BUTTON EQUALS DISASTER
Since the birth of Facebook in 2004, we've certainly learned a lot about ourselves
and other people, haven't we? The mother of all social media networks has allowed us
to be shameless self-promoters and discover just how high the level of narcissism can
Facebook has been like a psychiatrist we don't even have to pay for, using it to massage
our egos and a public relations firm to tell the world just how great our lives are even if
they are not. After all, it's just Facebook where it's all good, all the time.
That is about to change. Social media czar Mark Zuckerberg announced Tuesday Facebook
users will be getting a 'dislike' icon in the very near future. Oh, man, this is going to cause
some serious mayhem, leading to a de-friending epidemic of epic proportions, I'm sure.
The 'dislike' button should be great test to see how a world seemingly offended by everything,
reacts when somebody gongs a comment, picture, or another Candy Crush invitation you
just sent out for just about the entire world to see, or at the very least all your BFF's.
Is the social media really ready for this?
Apparently, Zuckerberg seems to think testing the depth of people's skin will make Facebook
a little more exciting and entertaining. Perhaps, he saw how the world reacted to Donald
Trump disliking nearly everything from the questions Megyn Kelly asked to our country's
nuclear deal with Iran.
Facebook might just start looking like an episode of the "Housewives of Orange County"
complete with cat fights and bickering threads:
Karen Bagadonuts: I can't believe you 'disliked' my new profile pic! Thanks!
Cindi Goldigger: Lay off the botox, will ya? That face is so tight it could withstand
Karen Bagadonuts: OMG. You biatch! I'm de-friending you.
This new dislike button just may turn Facebook into the social media networks, "Slapshot,
an epic classic known for its foul language, cheap shots, and bench-clearing brawls.
'Disliking' can beget de-friending and watching it all unfold may provide enough LOL's
to last an entire month.
Can you just imagine that 50-year-old women who has seen her best days go well-behind
her, posting a picture of herself in a tini-bikini from 10 years ago just to get a little bit of
an ego boost only to see it shattered after a few 'dislike' icons get lit up in red?
Oh, this is another stroke of genius by Zuckerberg.
Can't wait for it to be installed, letting all the pettiness and nastiness begin.
If this 'dislike' button comes to fruition, these are the top 5 things I'd punch the
5. Pictures of injuries. OK, I realize Facebook is the biggest platform in the world
to show and tell your life story, but for the sake of Joe Theisman's snapped fibula, can
all users refrain from showing pictures of your injuries like broken bones, fat lips, and
black eyes. It's ridiculous. DISLIKE.
4. Pictures of your feet by the ocean. It was kind of cool in the beginning of Facebook,
but come on, people, its gotten real old, real fast. Try spinning a basketball off your
big toe or something. That'd offer a little excitement. If not, I'm hitting DISLIKE--a lot.
3. Changing your profile more often than the number of days in a year. Seriously,
the world is not going to leave you behind if you only update your profile picture once
a week. According to Dr. Oz, Phil, and Doolittle, if you are constantly changing your
profile picture, you need electric shock therapy. DISLIKE.
2. Checking in from somewhere USA. I don't care that you just walked into the Waffle
House and ordered hash browns chunked, smothered and covered. Neither does anyone
else. OK then, just 'dislike' and de-friend. I won't mind.
1. People who post pictures of themselves taking a selfie in the mirror with the
smartphone pictured. Really? Do you how stupid this looks?