Saturday, August 15, 2015
"Straight Outta Compton" hit theatres on August 14. I guess it has something do with Dr.
Dre, whom I wouldn't know if he was standing right in front of me, and a groundbreaking
new group which revolutionizes music and pop culture, changing and influencing hip-hop
Forgive my ignorance about the whole hip-hop thing, I guess I'm just not all that current on
current events. (Wink, wink)
However, I thought the marketing campaign of the movie was close to brilliant, creating an
app for people to produce the "Straight Outta" somewhere/somewhere memes. I saw one
posted on one of the 37 social media vehicles today where the U.S. government said Iran
was "Straight outta Uranium." Our boys and girls in Washington D.C. are more clueless
than we originally thought.
Some of the "Straight Outta" things have been pretty funny. Hall & Oates were "Straight
Outta Touch." Nice touch for sure. Here are a few others I whipped up with a little time on
Straight Outta sight and outta mind. Tiger Woods. Can't make a putt or a cut these days.
With the young guns like Jordan Spieth, Rory McIroy, Jason Day, and Dustin Johnson, Eldrick is
barely an afterthought. Sad, truly sad.
Straight Outta stupid. Deflategate. Now entering its seventh month, the most ridiculous
'scandal' in sports history has taken the NFL, the media, and the fans, hostage. Yep, grown
men making billions and millions of dollars obsessing about something that had absolutely
no factor in the outcome of the AFC Championship. What did the Patriots beat the Colts
by? 45-7? They could've used a bowling bowl and still beaten them by the same
Straight Outta American Gangsta. Yeah, that IK-what's-his-name who turned the lights
out on teammate Geno Smith, which made IK-what's-his-name a former teammate before
you could spell J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets! Geno suffered a broken jaw, IK got cut and
then was signed by Buffalo where his former coach, Rex Ryan, became his current coach.
Straight Outta heart. Michael Sam. The first openly gay football player to be drafted to
the NFL, tapped out of his obligation to the Montreal Alouettes of the CFL, citing the need
to take care of his mental health after nearly two years of getting cut by NFL teams and
dumped by his fiance'. Perhaps, all those members of the media who once compared Sam
to Jackie Robinson would like to have that proclamation back. Robinson, who endured
10,000 times the abuse Sam did, didn't quit no matter how hard and humiliating it was.
Straight Outta his mind. Sheldon Richardson of the New York Jets was caught speeding
at a 143-miles-an-hour with a 12-year-old kid in the car, not to mention a few accessories
like a loaded pistol and a little weed. Richardson told the media he just wanted the kid to
have "a little fun" in a car that he'd never been in before.
Straight Outta weird. Caitlyn Jenner. Shall I continue?
Straight Outta Romper Room. Patrick Kane of the Chicago Blackhawks, please
grow up. Being "investigated" for rape is a helluva better than being charged for it, but
you can't be getting all boozed up and getting in bad situations. And why do you live
in Buffalo in the off-season? You've play in Chicago, a world-class city, have three
Stanley Cup titles and a $90 million contract. It's beautiful in the Windy City in the
summer and a heckuva lot better looking women there than in Buffalo!
Straight Outta Tin Cup. During the second round of the PGA Championship, John
Daly, who looked like something straight outta a creamsickle, hit three balls into the
water on par-3. Then proceeded to helicopter his club into Lake Michigan. It's always
the club's fault! Always.