DONALD TRUMP ON 'DEFLATEGATE'

SportsRip asked Donald Trump about DeflateGate, the 'scandal' that's held NFL fans
hostage for a mind-boggling seven months. Trump has some experience in professional
football as an owner of the New Jersey Generals of the defunct USFL. Trump took time
out from his busy campaign schedule to answer a few hard-hitting questions from SportsRip.
 
SportsRip: Donald, what are your thoughts on Deflategate?

Trump: What are my thoughts on Deflategate? If I were NFL commissioner, I would've
taken care of it in five minutes. But I'm not. Roger Goodell is and he has weaker leadership
skills than Sarah Palin. A few years ago, Sports Illustrated said Goodell was the most
powerful man in sports. Goes to show you how far that magazine has fallen, doesn't it?

This deflated ball thing is the most ridiculous scandal in sports history, bar none. Why did
Goodell have to pay some  lawyer $5 million to find out what was going on? A circus
monkey could've given you the answer and he would've been a lot cheaper. The NFL didn't
measure or record the PSI level at the start of the game, so tell me how they know if the
Patriots deflated the balls. It's not rocket-science, it's common sense, people!

Good, lord, I thought the leaders of our country were stupid and incompetent. Goodell couldn't
drink wine out of his shoe if the directions were on the heel. He's married to that girl who
used to be an anchor on Fox News. That explains a lot, doesn't it? Meghan Kelly could do
a better job running the NFL than Goodell.

Has the guy made one good decision since he's been commissioner? I mean, if you're
paying a guy $44 million-a-year, you'd expect to get him at least something right, right?
He botched the concussion thing, replacement referees, BountyGate, and geez almighty,
he flat out embarrassed himself trying to suspend Ray Rice for two games for knocking
out his wife. Two games! And he wants to give Tom Brady four?

Then that video comes out which Goodell said he never saw. Ok, that's another thing.
Goodell, the most powerful man in sports doesn't see the video? Right, he sees video
of a woman knocked out cold on the floor of a hotel and doesn't put two and two together
as to what happened in the elevator? The girl was almost dead and Rice is dragging her
on the floor for crying out loud!

Bill Simmons of ESPN was right. Goodell was lying through his teeth. Then he botches
the Adrian Peterson and Greg Hardy scandals and goes into hiding. You think I'd go into
hiding and not give my opinion on that stuff? Are you kidding me? Then the commissioner
sets up some task force with some women on it to determine penalties for players who
hit women? You can't make this stuff up!

Have some stones, Mr. Commissioner! It's why you get paid a ton of money. Earn it!
Then you go after Tom Brady, the face of the league because you want to get back
the respect you lost for botching the Ray Rice situation by coming down hard on Brady?

You are a total idiot. I thought Antony Weiner was a total loser, but Goodell is a close
second. Kind of like Jeb Bush to me. LOL. No, Jeb is a really nice guy, but America doesn't
want to see another Bush and weak leader in the White House. Has he dropped out, by
the way? No, give him a few more weeks then.

Goodell couldn't make a decision in seven months and now that judge is going to embarrass
him. He's going to let Brady walk with nothing but a fine and the red-headed guy is going
to have egg all over his face. Goodell should've learned from David Stern and the handling
of Michael Jordan when Jordan had all those gambling problems. Stern knew he couldn't
win in the court of public opinion and just suspend the golden goose of the NBA. He
was brilliant. He told Michael to go play baseball for a year and then come back. Goodell
should've just kept his hands off Brady. He's too good, too squeaky clean and just about
loved by everybody but those lame-ass Jets fans.

Hell, if I wasn't going to kick everybody's ass and be the next president of the United
States, I'd run for NFL Commissioner. Oh, I know I can really 'run' for commissioner,
but you better believe I'd find a way. I always have.  You have any other questions?

SportsRip: Nope, that about takes care of it. Thanks for your time.

*Note: this was a spoof on Trump and Deflategate. These aren't the actual
words and opinion of Trump but you know they are damn close to what he'd say.