Thursday, May 14, 2015

PATRIOTS HOT AIR: LOSING WEIGHT & CREDIBILITY


The Patriots just lost me.

I was never a "fan" of the 4-time Super Bowl champions and didn't think they were
worth the energy and time to live and die with them while wearing a Rob Gronkowski
jersey.

However, while covering the team for NESN every day for nearly two seasons, I gained the
ultimate respect for the organization and how they did things. To watch and listen to Bill
Belichick, Tom Brady, and a team that personified hard work, intelligence, and a laser-like
focus was an experience I will never forget.

Now, I'm forgetting everything they once stood for. The 'Patriots Way' was slapped on an
organization by some sportswriter who drank too much of Robert Kraft's Kool-Aid but
now their brew has been poisoned. For good.

After reading one line of the team's rebuttal to the Wells Report Thursday,  which led to
the suspension of face of the franchise and the NFL's golden boy, I don't think the
organization is all that special anymore.

Jim McNally: A Deflate-watcher

The Patriots' dream team of lawyers is pulling out all the stops in order to smear the
report and try to save some face. The text exchange between locker room grunts
Jim McNally an John Jastremski revealed, in a very comical way, Brady's obsession
with his football's. McNally went so far as calling himself "the deflator", which any
human being with an I.Q. over 4 could use to connect all the dots and yell out,
"CHEATERS!"

Well, the Patriots went on the attack and tried to convince the court of public opinion
and those with an I.Q. under three that McNally was really saying had to do with
losing weight not taking air out of footballs:

 "Mr. McNally is a big fellow and had the opposite goal: to lose weight. 'Deflate' was a
 term they used to refer to losing weight...This banter, and Mr. McNally’s goal of losing
weight, meant Mr. McNally was the “deflator.” There was nothing complicated or
 sinister about it."--Daniel Goldberg, team lawyer.

Borrowing a line from the late Leslie Nielsen, "Shirley, you can't be serious?"

Ok, bear with me, I have  to touch on a few things. You mean to tell me this is the best
explanation these experienced, Ivy League-educated lawyers can come up with? Did they
sit in a think tank for 3 days and say, "Bingo! We got it! Let's say McNally was trying to
lose weight. I mean, doesn't everybody equate deflating to weight loss?"

Robert Kraft paid for and approved this? Good, Lord, that 32-year-old "girlfriend" he
pals around with has apparently turned his cerebellum into mush. Nobody anywhere is
buying this ridiculous explanation. Isn't it amazing how releasing a little air from a dozen
footballs has turned into this childish power-play between the Patriots and the NFL?
 


Yeah, Ray Rice knocks out his lady in an elevator and Greg Hardy collects more
ammunition than Rambo and then throws his girl on a couch and demands that she pick
one of the assault weapons he has to kill her with. And the NFL is consumed with
DeflateGate?

This DeflateGate scandal is beyond stupid. I may go watch an episode of the "Kardashians"
to feel a little smarter and get back to what's really important in life like selfies,
self-absorption, and self-embarrassment. (wink, wink)

Deflating in our society now really means losing weight, according to the Patriots lawyers.
That is just brilliant. Expect to see "Deflate-watchers" supplements and a carefully
produced diet program at a GNC store near you. Perhaps, former Patriots Vince Wilfork
will be the company spokesman because big ole Vince has a little problem battling the
bulge. Maybe he can deflate it away! Yeah, that's it.



Deflating means losing weight? Really?  You just can't make this stuff up.

I can almost hear Johnnie Cochran from his grave, "If you are overweight, you must deflate."

The late night talk shows are going to have a field day with the Patriots stupidity. The
New York Post has enough content to write outrageously funny and brilliant headlines
for a month. The editors must have gone nuts when they heard about the deflator explanation
by the Patriots.

I worked in broadcast news when the O.J Simpson murder trial aired on all the 24-hour
channels in the mid-90's. I, like many people in this country, was riveted to the proceedings
of the trial. O.J. put a 'Dream Team' defense squad together and they threw enough crap
on the wall to bring down the Green Monster in Boston.


Cochran brought out the hat and the glove and uttered the famous line that arguably
won the case, "If the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit." And it stuck. So did their
impassioned pleas that the evidence was contaminated by overzealous cops and sloppy
procedures. Cochran even asked why an ice cream cone on the ground was not tested
for the "melt rate" to determine what time the murder occurred. Nicole Brown Simpson,
the ex-wife of O.J. was allegedly enjoying an ice cream cone when she was attacked.

Now, it appears the Patriots' legal dream team is doing the same thing: throwing everything
on the wall and hope it sticks.

It will not. The Patriots are not operating in the court of law (yet) and they don't have a
less-than-intelligent jury to influence.


Once considered the smartest organization in professional sports is now looking like
the dumbest. Oh, sure, they might be able to get the suspension of Brady overturned,
but unlike their weak sauce explanation of "the deflator", the bad opinion people have
of Patriots right now will stick.

Yep, a guy looking to lose some weight caused this mess for the Patriots.

You just can't make this stuff up. You just can't.

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