I am Deflate-gate, the most ridiculous scandal in NFL history.
I am Deflate-gate and I really got started because Tom Brady told the Baltimore Ravens
they should study the rule book and figure it out. What do they say about payback again?
I am Deflate-gate but really just Bill Buckner in disguise. I am torturing New England
sports fans all over again and come to think of it, I'm really enjoying it.
I am Deflate-gate and so powerful, I got Bill Belichick to use a "My Cousin Vinny" reference.
Most people can't even get him to smile and I made everybody think he has a sliver of
personality. Damn, I'm good.
I am Deflate-gate and I've given everyone outside of New England another reason to
hate Bill Belichick, Tom Brady, and the Patriots even more.
I am Deflate-gate and I brought you Jim McNally, known as the "bird and "the deflator",
but only when he's trying to lose weight (wink, wink).
I am Deflate-gate and I became so famous, "Saturday Night Live" opened its show with me.
I am Deflate-gate and I made America obsess over a little air being taken out of
something they call pigskin. Stupid. It's easy to see how you all helped turn the
Kardashians into a household name. And you think Bruce Jenner is weird? No, you are.
I am Deflate-gate and I brought you the most hilarious exchange of texting since
Tiger Woods was acting like a teenager and sending obscene messages to his slew
of porn stars.
I am Deflate-gate and I still don't think Roger Goodell has any idea of what he's doing.
I am Deflate-gate and please don't hate all that much on Tom Brady. Sure, he has money,
fame, four Super Bowl rings and a super model for a wife. But I made sure he's not really
perfect. After all, who is?
I am Deflate-gate and you can be sure Romo, Rothlisberger, Rivers, and the Manning
boys will play by all the rules when it comes to rubbing up their favorite balls from
I am Deflate-gate. Robert Kraft finally waved the white flag and wants to move on.
So do I. I'm even sick of hearing about myself, but man, did I have a good time messing
with the best team in the NFL. Go Pats!