Sunday, April 12, 2015
MIKE CARISTA: HELLO, WORLD!
Mike Carista, a former highly-touted prospect in the Boston Red Sox organization (according
to him) has entered the bloggersphere with "Carista's Call" which gives an in-depth analysis
and his opinion on Major League Baseball.
OK, so 99.9 percent of it pertains to the Red Sox, but you can forgive him because he's part
of a region that thinks everything revolves around the Old Town team and is the only one
on the planet.
Carista, who is believed to be around 50-years old and close to 320 lbs of shredded steel
while wearing his favorite 1987 T-shirt of the Red Sox or Celtics, could ultimately be a
replacement for Jerry Remy on NESN's broadcasts.
"Remy's time is up," said Carista from his home in North Carolina. "He's gotten old and
stale. I'm the man of the people, not Remy. I was the pride of Saugus High and I actually
played with Curt Schilling in the minors. Check the stats, too. My WHIP and strikeouts
per 9 innings were far better than his. After Rich Gale started working with me, it was
all downhill. Does anybody know where that guy lives? I have a special delivery for him."
In his blog, "Carista's Call", the former flame-thrower turned power-lifter will detail life
in the minor-leagues playing alongside former Red Sox greats including Scott Cooper,
Jeff Plympton, Ken Ryan, and Dave Owen, who Carista says, still holds the all-time record
for chicken wings devoured in a single sitting at the Ground Round.
Carista, who was known as "the Bulldog" long before Tommy Lasorda tagged Orel Hershiser,
will also offer insight on how he curled the brim of his baseball hat like a three-tooth sloth
NASCAR fan in Bristol, Tennessee. "Yep, I invented it. I tried to get a patent on it, but
the government said that Boss Hogg's nephew got to it before me."
After his initial blog went viral, Carista is expected to make a media tour that will include
appearances on the "Today Show", "Ellen," "Kathie Lee & Hoda", and "Queer Eye for
the Straight Guy."
You can view Carista's blog exclusively at www.caristascall.blogspot.com.