Thursday, February 26, 2015


The big 5-0. If you make it this far in life, it's somewhat of an accomplishment.
We all tend to take life for granted and often forget how blessed we are to make it
to such a milestone. I'm cool with being halfway to 100 and I'm loving life. Sure,
there are still challenges to face everyday, but we all know that's part of life's

While I really can't say I'm surprised by anything since turning 50, I have taken
notice of a few things since making the turn and strolling down the back nine of

Life seems to be in such a hurry to get to the finish line once you hit 50. It's like
it  guzzled a case of Red Bull and floored the gas pedal. Everything goes by like
a bolt of lightning.

A year seems like a  month, a month seem like a week, and a week seems to
be over quicker than recess in  elementary school. Sometimes I just want to
scream, "Slow the eff  down! What the hell is the rush?"

Sadly, there are a lot more funerals to go to at 50 than weddings, christenings,
and First Communions. We are burying those parents of our friends who were
always giving parties, rides to freshman dances, and just being so cool during
our formative years.

I guess there will be only one more bachelor party to go to in my lifetime and
that'll be mine, except most of my friends will need to be in bed by 9 p.m., so
I'm not counting on it being an epic one.

At 50, those crows feet around my eyes have become more like rings on an oak
tree, telling the world just how old I am. Those rings are deep grooves and no
amount of botox can do anything about them.

I  value my sleep at 50 far more than I ever have.  9:30 comes around and the
sandman hits me like a ton of bricks. Forget staying up for Fallon, football, or
re-runs of "Breaking Bad",  sleep is my joy and entertainment!

At 50, I've discovered muscles I never thought I had and names I never knew
existed. When I was young, I'd have pain in my leg that the doctor would
classify as "growing" ones. Now it's something called the "IT band"
What the hell does the I and the T stand for anyway?

I did go to two Bar Mitzvahs in a three week period since turning 50. Jewish
woman love the way I take over the dance floor and go crazy when I show up in
my all-white suit looking like Tony Manero.

I ran my entire life and never had problems with my feet, but as soon as I hit
50, I come down with something called plantar fasciitis. WTF? It's the worst
thing I've ever  experienced in my life. Every morning I wake up, it feels like I
stepped on a land mine!

When I leave home in the morning, my reading glasses have become far more
important to me than my iPhone. It pains me they have become such a
necessity and having to admit that I am now "one of them", you know,
the old folks at dinner who have to put the readers on just to see the menu
and the bill to figure out the tax.

I realize that most people graduated from elementary school, but a lot of them
never moved on from their ways in it. Parents yell and scream at their kids' games
and fights sometimes even break out. Gossip and backbiting seem to get worse and
the vitriol that is spewed when a celebrity falls from grace is frightening.

Age discrimination is real.

Most of all, I've realized that 50 is still just a number. I am young, healthy, and still
able to do most things I could at 25, albeit at a much slower rate. There is much of
life to be lived and I'm going to keep on living it with a smile on my face.

I did my first Ironman at 50. My goal is to do my last one at 85. And every one in

Life is a sport, drink it up.

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