Thursday, January 15, 2015

RAY LEWIS AND STUPID HUMAN ANALYSIS


I'm guessing the executives at ESPN buckle up their seatbelts when Ray Lewis starts to say
something as an NFL analyst. The former All-Pro's mind always seems to be racing at 100 mph
while his mouth can't seem to catch up. It usually results in some kind of mishap.

In September, some producer at the World-Wide Leader thought it'd be a good idea for
Lewis to provide analysis on Ray Rice scandal and the alleged cover-up by the Baltimore
Ravens organization whom Lewis played his entire career for.

When Chris Berman set-up Lewis with the question, it was like a 3,000 pound souped up
race car barreling down the final stretch going 150 mph at Talledega without restrictor
plates. You knew there was going to be a wreck, you just weren't sure how bad it was going
to be.

"We’re here because we saw a friend of mine brutally hit his wife in the face in an elevator,"
Lewis told ESPN's national audience. "There’s some things you can cover up, and there’s
some things you can’t.”

ESPN executives cringed and Lewis flipped his car then crashed into a wall. I reckon that
wasn't the type of analysis Boomer, TJ, and Chris Carter were expecting. Lewis seemed to
forget about that little 'cover-up' that occurred after the Super Bowl in Atlanta where two
people were murdered and Lewis was arrested. Police filed obstruction of justice charges
against Lewis, which unlike the murder, stuck to his record. Lewis was also accused of
trashing the full-length white mink coat that has swatches of blood on it from that night
in the ATL.


So, when he said, "there's some things you can cover-up,"...Well, let's just say many of
us were left in shock. "Hello? Ray Lewis? Is anybody home in that brain of yours?"

Lewis managed to somehow walk away from that wreck without any real injuries, except
for a bad case of stupid. He kept his job and continued to analyze football even if we
sometimes need a translator to figure out what he's trying to say.

Lewis appeared on SiriusXM Mad Dog Radio Monday with the immortal Stephen A. Smith
and they were discussing Tom Brady's greatness. Buckle-up boys, here comes some more
great analysis:

"When we — the first time we created something called a tuck rule, it’s the only reason
we know — I’m just being honest — the only reason we know who Tom Brady is,
because of a tuck rule," Lewis stated.


OK, I don't think I need to go into the legacy of Tom Brady because it's already been
pretty much cemented. I don't need to go into all the Super Bowl trophies he's won or
the records he owns.

Nope, not going to do it. All I'm going to say is that if Tom Brady really became a
household name and who he is because of the Tuck rule, then it's safe to say the
only reason Ray Lewis became who he is, is because of that double-murder and
cover-up in Atlanta fifteen years ago.

Seems right, right?

No comments:

Post a Comment