Wednesday, December 31, 2014

PAUL DEVLIN'S 2015 NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS


I think it was Gandhi who once said if you want to achieve your goals WRITE them down
and they will become part of your subconscious. Or was it the Dali Lama who said it? I'm
not sure, I'm 50 and my memory is starting to fade and who the heck cares, anyway. It might've
been John Candy for all I know! Whatever the case, I'm writing down my New Year's Resolutions
that I'm determined to chase for at least three days.

So here we go. Here are my 2015 New Year's Resolutions:

Try not to make fun of the people on Facebook who document every five seconds of their
lives with selfies, pictures of the their food, or with posts with such riveting information as,
"Man, it's cold outside," or "It's really dark out tonight". 


Reduce my coffee intake at Dunkin' Donuts from 21 cups to just 15 per day. Maybe I won't
bounce off as many walls during the day.

Get at least one hair cut from some place other than Super Cuts. I'm as hip as I want to
be, but I might attract more woman under the age of 60 if I had a better hair do.


Take an on-line African-American studies course at my alma mater UNC. I'd like to say
that I got at least  one 'A' in my educational career.


Lose 10 pounds so I can fit into my old Calvin Klein acid-washed jeans. (They're coming
back in style you know)

Try to have a crash-free year on my bike. During the training season of 2014 I became an
expert on how to wipe-out. I must have looked like Gerry Ford on a Cervelo: Rumblin',
bumblin' and tumblin' all over the place.


Keep trying to convince Patriots fans that it's really OK to lose at least one game in the
NFL every year. You don't have to whine, cry, and jump off the bandwagon like the
team  has the ebola virus every time you lose a game. This just in, you live in New England,
not Cleveland, Jacksonville, Oakland, or Tennessee.


Get married. (LOL)

Get those butt implants I've always longed for.

Dethrone Joey Chestnut as the world's best competitive eater.


Try to get to Atlanta to see if my condo is still in one piece.

Quit stealing Halloween candy from my nieces and nephews. I'm a bad uncle for making
them cry.

Get definition in my stomach and have at least a two-pack before I grow really old
and fat.


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