Saturday, December 13, 2014

IF THERE WAS A 'DISLIKE' BUTTON ON FACEBOOK....


Social media czar Mark Zuckerberg recently rejected the idea of equipping Facebook with a
 'dislike' option on the world's biggest time-sucking platform. The 'dislike' certainly would've
spiced things up and probably led to an epidemic of de-friending and arguments in public that
 mirror an episode of "The Housewives of Orange County."

If the 'dislike' button appeared, there's a chance the daily number could exceed the 4.5 billion
'likes' that are generated on Facebook every single day. I believe Zuckerberg is justing trying
to keep the peace on his social media phenomenon and hold off on the 'dislike' button for a little
while longer.

But IF  the Big Z decided to incorporate the 'diss' button into Facebook here's the Top 10 things
it would probably be used for.

10. Selfies in the mirror. The inordinate amount of regular selfies appearing on Facebook is
bad enough, but when people actually post them in the mirror with the cell phone in the shot, I'd
hit the 'dislike' button every time. Apparently, these people have no idea how stupid this type of
selfie really looks.

  9. X-Rays, surgically repaired limps, patients in hospital beds. I'm sorry, I have no interest
in seeing broken bones, fat lips, and a patient lying next to a bed pan. DISLIKE button please!



 8. Checking-in! It used to be that we never wanted to let others know where we are or what we
are doing, but that all changed with Facebook where there is a 'checking-in' feature which I really
'dislike'. Seriously, how many people care that you are 'checking-in' from Panera Bread or the
bathroom at Yankee Stadium? Perhaps, thieves on-line planning their next job love to know where
you're going to be, but most of us could do without seeing it.


 7. Feet by the sea.  Ok, this was kind of cool at first, but after seeing 642,187 pictures of
feet in the sand and the ocean in the background, they've gotten kind of old. DISLIKE.
Let's spice it up with creativity. Juggle a beach ball in the shot or dress them up with Rex
Ryan's favorite piggly-wiggly outfits or tell us which piggy went to the market and
which piggy stayed home.

 6. Woman's pictures of their baby bumps and baby bowling balls. Is nothing sacred anymore?


 5. Second-by-second sports udpates. I'm still trying to figure out why the sports experts
on Facebook have to give the play-by-play of of EVERY single play from a game. "That was
a clip!!!""He blew that coverage!!!!", "The pulling guard didn't pull!!!"  Really? You mean to
tell me you're watching the game, sitting on the couch, with a computer on your lap and now
you want to make like Troy Aikman and break down the passing tree and defensive stunts diagrammed by Bill Belichick? OK. That's cool, to each his own.  But I'd hit the 'dislike' button.

 4. People who post their Twitter stats on Facebook. Yeah, I've seen this a few times. People
actually cut and paste the amount of views and new followers they received via Twitter on
Facebook. Big 'dislike'. Why is this important? Who really cares?



 3. 'Likes' on an Obituary posting. Just when you think you've seen and read it all on Facebook,
something else comes up that makes you go, 'wow'.  A friend recently posted an obituary of
her brother. I was shocked to see 87 'likes' under it. Um, what is there to 'like'
about a death? Take 20 seconds to send a note offering your condolences.


2. Certain food pictures. OK, I get it when you've worked tirelessly in the kitchen to fix
a nice meal and are proud of the presentation. I'm all for showing off your creativity and hard
work. But when pictures of hamburgers and fries show up, I have to hit the 'dislike' button.
When a half-eaten hot dog appears, the 'dislike' button would be a mandatory hit. It's not
like we've haven't seen this 1,989, 423 times before. And that empty plate with the mmm,
mmm, good !caption? Yeah, that gets the 'dislike' button, too.

1. Pictures posing with celebrities who just died.  I don't know about you, but I find it a
little creepy. Dislike.

Note: This is a tongue-in-cheek article. You can 'dislike' it and I won't mind. I 'like' a lot
of things on Facebook like pictures of my friends and their kids, nostalgic-throwback photos,
tributes to parents, and anything where someone is smiling, having fun, and enjoying life.
But there are some I'd rather not see on Facebook. Just my humble opinion.

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