Friday, November 15, 2013

DOS EQUIS GUY VS. MAYOR OF TORONTO


                                                             TALE OF THE TAPE


                          The Dos Equis Guy is the life of parties he doesn't even attend.

             The mayor of Toronto is the life of parties just as long as he brings Mary Jane, a pipe,
                                                and 3 boxes of Krispy Kreme donuts


                                       The Dos Equis Guy smokes expensive Cuban cigars.

                                    The mayor of Toronto smokes crack in drunken stoopers.


                                  The Dos EquIs Guy has a donor card that lists his beard.

                            The mayor of Toronto has a donor card that says  WARNING:
                            DO NOT USE. Poisoned by alcohol, crack, and a potty mouth


     The Dos Equis Guy is known as the most interesting man in the world and without equal.

                         The mayor of Toronto is known as Chris Farley's twin brother.



                                   The blood of the Dos Equis Guy smells like cologne.

                           The blood of the mayor of Toronto smells like an extra value meal.


                                         The Dos Equis Guy is fluent in all languages.

                      The mayor of Toronto is fluent in a foul language ripe with four-letter words.

                                         The shirts of the Dos Equis Guy never wrinkle.

              The shirts of the mayor of Toronto never quite cover the keg of beer he's trying to hide.



         The police often question the Dos Equis Guy just because they find him interesting.

      The police will soon question the mayor of Toronto because he's a person of interest in
                                                a prostitution ring and drug trafficking.


                             The Dos Equis Guy is so well-known, he doesn't need a nickname.

           The mayor of Toronto wanted to be known as Carlos Danger, but that nickname was taken.

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