I almost drove off the road while listening to the Alex Rodriquez interview with Mike
Francesa on WFAN Tuesday. It was so absurd, it was ridiculously funny. I haven't laughed
that hard since watching Chris Farley and Patrick Swayze dancing half-naked as Chippendales
on an episode of "SNL".
Earlier in the day, A-Rod had stormed out of his own grievance hearing after learning MLB
commissioner Bud Selig would not be coming into testify. He said he was tired of the "process"
and couldn't stand listening to liars and felons for the past 10 days. A-Rod seems to forget
that he got exposed to the world as a significant liar when he told Katie Couric in 2006
he never used PED's, only to be outed by Selena Roberts of Sports Illustrated a short
If there were a Lie-O-Meter with A-Rod, it would've been in the red zone. After Tuesday's
performance, it was off the charts.
A-Rod chose to go on WFAN, which was being simulcast on the YES Network, which
broadcasts all of the games A-Rod sometimes appears in with the Yankees. Francesa, for
some unknown reason, has been A-Rod's biggest defender. You say something bad about
A-Rod and the Grand Pooba of Sports takes it personally. So, with one of his 87 lawyers
by his side, the Yankees third baseman who is appealing MLB's unprecedented 211-game
suspension for his role in the Biogenesis scandal, went one-on-one with Francesa.
Francesa: Have you ever used PED's since 2006?
Francesa: Did you ever threaten witnesses?
Francesa: Did you ever obstruct the investigation?
A-Rod: I don't even know what obstruction is. (See the Red Sox)
Francesa: Did you try to pay off Anthony Bosch?
Francesa: Did you do anything wrong?
That's it! Major League Baseball just made this all up. They put their credibility on the
line just to smear A-Rod and get the biggest ratings draw in the game out of it.
A-Rod is just like Lance Armstrong, Ryan Braun, and just about everybody else out there
who has something to protect, preserve, or enhance: They lie. How many times did we
hear Armstrong deny and lie about using PED's? Thousands. How'd that turn out?
Braun, like Armstrong, denied his PED use, then, like Armstrong, went out of his way
to discredit and destroy people's reputations who were actually telling the truth. Absurd.
Haven't we learned anything by now?
A-Rod cried to Francesa that this was about his career and legacy and that he'd have to
face his daughters. A-Rod didn't think about his daughters too much when he appeared
on the cover of the New York Post with that stripper in Toronto. I wonder what he
lied to them about in that case. The woman not his wife and their mother was a masseuse?
When the Biogenesis scandal broke last year, A-Rod was quoted in the New York Times
as saying he had never met Anthony Bosch, heard of him, or dealt with him. On Tuesday's
show, A-Rod admitted he went to the voodoo doctor for supplements and about a weight-loss
plan. A weight loss plan? Are you kidding me? You're not Jon Kruk. You have nothing to
do all day but work out and kiss the mirror after it. Did you want to shed weight as fast
as Jessica Simpson after giving birth? Gimme a break.
The "interview" got even sillier when A-Rod and Francesa started stroking each other.
A-Rod: I watch you all the time, Mike. You don't need any help with the ratings."
Francesa: You don't need help with the girls. I've seen you with enough actresses.
Ooops, I just missed hitting that old lady walking her dog. My bad. Get back on the road.
A-Rod also stated that he has never felt so much love from people when he walks around
New York. Yeah, Aaron Hernandez must've been thinking the same thing when all those
"fans" showed up outside the courthouse in Massachusetts wearing his '81' jerseys. The
cousins of those hero worshippers must have been the ones greeting A-Rod when he
stepped out of his van on the streets of NYC, flanked by his team of lawyers.
Is a 211-game suspension excessive, especially since A-Rod never failed a drug test?
But to think MLB made all this stuff up is absurd. It's obvious A-Rod lives in a world
unfamiliar to us and that he may have his own definition of lying just as Armstrong did
of cheating and just as Bill Clinton did of sex.
However, A-Rod has a track record of lying. And like Armstrong, Braun, and so many
other athletes, its deny, deny, deny, until you get caught in another lie. A-Rod got caught
in a few more on Tuesday.
But then again, according to him, A-Rod did nothing wrong. Absolutely nothing.