Wednesday, September 25, 2013


       You can always count on the sports world for giving us stories that are often stranger
        (and funnier, a lot funnier) than fiction. When money, fame, power are combined with
        booze, pizza boxes, and just plain old stupidity, a lot of hilarious things can happen.
        They did this past week in sports. (Insert your Eddie Murphy laugh-track)

       Jacoby Jones, star receiver for the Baltimore Ravens, was hit over the head by a stripper
       named Sweet Pea with a champagne bottle. Jones, Sweet Pea, and a few others were on a
       a party bus doing some late night celebrating (and probably a few other things) when the
       incident occurred. The New York Mets are in contract negotiations to add Sweet Pea to
       their anemic line-up. And can you pick Sweet Pea out of this line-up on the "party" bus?
       Yep, the platinum blonde. You just can't make this stuff up.

       Nate Burleson of the Detroit Lions broke his arm in a single car accident on Sunday night.
       I'm glad his injuries weren't more severe, but when I found out what caused the accident,
       I let out an Eddie Murphy-type laugh. Apparently, Burleson was distracted by a pizza box
       that slid off the front seat. Yep, broke his arm, totaled the car, but SAVED THE PIZZA!!
       I smell a Papa John's commercial coming. But I'm sure we'll find out later this week that
       the sliding pizza box had nothing to do with the accident and everything to do with the
       sister of Sweet Pea in the front seat doing something that distracted Nate.

       Rashad Johnson of the Arizona Cardinals had the tip of his middle finger severed in his
       game on Sunday. And, of course, the first thing he does after the game is take a picture of
       it and tweet it out to the world. I'm shocked he didn't post it to his Facebook page first.
       What the hell is wrong with him?

       Bus Cook, the longtime agent for Brett Favre, says that his client, at age 44, could still
       play in the NFL right now. Cook says Favre is not interested in coming back (yeah, right)
       but is in the best shape of his life because he's been biking 25-50 miles a day in his Wrangler
       jeans. Good, Lord, haven't we seen this comedy act from Favre and his agent 100 times
       before? Brett, you had a great career, go away. Quit being like Lolo Jones and obsessed  
       with the attention.

       Man, it's been a couple of rough months for Hugh Douglas. First, he gets fired from
       his job at ESPN for a booze-fueled confrontation with a co-worker at a function down
       in Orlando. On Tuesday, the former Philadelphia Eagles linebacker was arrested for
       assault and strangulation of a woman in his hotel room in Hartford. This is a serious, 
       serious charge and I'm not making light of crimes against woman. But I'm laughing
       at Douglas' claim that it was all part of rough sex. Guess he forget to tell his partner
       about it.

1 comment:

  1. I have just downloaded iStripper, so I can have the sexiest virtual strippers on my desktop.