Saturday, May 25, 2013


          10. Thanks for putting my meltdown on YouTube so quickly. Without your help I
           never would've met Matt Lauer, Savannah Guthrie, Kelly Ripa, Michael Strahan,
           Tom Brokaw, and David Letterman on the same day. Wow! This is awesome!

  9.  The New York Jets are going to let me try-out for quarterback tomorrow. Mark Sanchez
  is out.

                                 8.  I'm really going to miss those winters in North Dakota.

     7.  I left a bunch of coupons to Sonny's BBQ in the top drawer of my old desk. Help yourself.

                        6. Just a heads up. I un-friended you on Facebook. No hard feelings
 5.  My producer just cued me and my microphone is hot. But this is big time, the show is
  on seven second delay. If I drop an F-bomb, they can beep it out. Listen up, and listen up
  good. Go F-beeeeeeeeeeep yourself.
  4. This is unreal. I couldn't use the community earpiece at the station that night. There was
  too much ear wax on it after it was used by five other people. Letterman gave me my own
  earpiece so I  can actually hear the producers right now screaming that I have 10 seconds to
  wrap this segment up.

  3. I'm meeting with my reps from the William Morris agency and I'll be a little busy. Don't
  call me, I'll call you.

                                        2. Happiness is Biscmarck in my rearview mirror.

                 1. You were right. Things do happen for a reason. How do you like me now?

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