Wednesday, March 13, 2013

DENNIS RODMAN: A DIPLOMATIC WORM


Dennis Rodman figured out the "Look at me!" game about mid-way through his NBA career.
Despite being one of the greatest rebounders and defenders in league history, Rodman never got
the attention he deserved, mainly because he was always overshadowed by more talented and
media-friendly players.

In Detroit, there was Isiah Thomas. In San Antonio, David Robinson was the officer and
the gentleman everybody loved. And of course, there was some guy named Michael Jordan
in Chicago, who was the ringmaster of the greatest show on earth.

So Rodman came up with a plan to be the freak show in the circus, the one who people just
couldn't take their eyes off of.

He dipped his body in ink and emerged with crazy tattoos from his toes to the tip of his head. He
saved that small area for not ink, but dye, casting fluorescent colors in his hair, making him the
beacon of freak and attention for the Chicago Bulls. But that just wasn't enough for "the Worm"
who clearly became addicted to his newfound attention. He pierced nearly everything on his
body and often wore mascara and wedding dresses to photo shoots around the Windy City.


Rodman got what he wanted in the worst way: attention.

He was finally a somebody. Unfortunately, when he retired, he became what most professional
athletes fear: a nobody. Outside of a few appearances on the pro wrestling circuit and as the train
wreck on "The Apprentice", Rodman became irrelevant. No longer in the spotlight, he wandered
aimlessly through life and court appearances for bankruptcy and being a deadbeat dad, a result of
going all Shawn Kemp and having about nine kids with six different woman.


But now, Rodman is back on center stage as an American "diplomat." I thought we had seen the
world's biggest circus with the Manti' Te'o scandal, but the sight of Rodman traveling the globe
to meet with North Korea's Kim Jong-Un is truly mind-boggling. He has discovered his fountain
of freakishness and gotten another fix for his addiction to attention.


Before his trip to North Korea with the Harlem Globetrotters, Rodman didn't know Kim Jong-Un
from Kim Bassinger. I can guarantee Rodman didn't know anything about the crimes against
humanity the North Korean regime is responsible for. Rodman didn't know anything about the
200,000 people in a network of political prisoner camps, who are deprived food and water and
tortured on a regular basis.

However, after meeting Kim Jung-Un for a few hours, Rodman concluded that he was, "a cool guy." Kim Jung-Un must've have gone all Gangnam-style on the Worm, or something. What could they possibly have talked about?

 
Kim Jong-Un was smiling for the photo opportunities and back-slapping Rodman, but you
kind of got the feeling he was telling his interpreter that Rodman was a bigger horse's ass than
Lance Armstrong, and making the Worm the butt of all his jokes.

Rodman didn't care because people were talking about his act once again. He showed up on
ABC with George Stephanopolous, proving once again, the media and networks will do just
about anything to make a buck or move the needle. What a joke.


But Rodman is taking the ball and running with it again. He knows this country loves to watch
a good train wreck and he is it, once again. Now he's planning on going on vacation with Kim
Jong-Un. Maybe a trip to Disney World is in order, or perhaps, a visit to the set of
"The Kardashians", the clan who has taken attention-hoarding to a whole new level.


Rodman also wants to meet with the new Pope. Now anything Rodman wants to do, he just
blurt it out or tweets it and the media will come running. Say this about Rodman, he can't
budget his money, keep track of his kids, or find a job, but the man knows how to promote
himself. Heck, Rodman should try to find a way into the conclave and have all the Cardinals
vote for him to be the next pontiff. Good, Lord, help us.

Why can't the Worm just find a good sinkhole to get lost in? He really needs to disappear for
good.

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