Friday, February 1, 2013


By Monday morning, Jesse Heiman will make Katherine Webb seem like a distant memory.
He will be "trending" wherever it is that people and things trend, and every late night talk show
host from Letterman to Conan will want him to sit in the chair besides them. This guy is already
big, literally, but he's going to be enormous very soon.

During the Super Bowl and the ridiculously over-hyped commercial competition that we love to
watch every year. Heiman co-stars in a spot with supermodel Bar Rafaeli, who
is hot enough to ignite a five-alarm fire. Forget about being the last kid picked in gym class,
Heiman looks like the kid who was never picked. He was  more likely to be that big kid in the
back row blowing his lungs out, trying to make  some magic with the oversized Tuba in the school

On Sunday, the nerd will get his revenge, as Heiman puckers his lips and makes sweet
music with Rafaeli. During the 30-second spot, Heiman goes all mack daddy on Rafaeli.
He and the supermodel engage in a kiss with all the tongue and trimmings that  is sure to
make some people lose their nachos, while causing geeks and nerds everywhere to
celebrate like Ray Lewis when he comes onto the field and does the "squirrel dance".

By Sunday night, this commercial will rank high above all the others for
making  the most impact with the viewers. Seeing Heiman in a tongue war with Rafaeli
is going to be a visual that nobody will be able to rinse away from their consciousness anytime soon.

This is Heiman's big break. He's a 24-year old "character" actor who has appeared in
such films  like American Pie 2, Spider-Man, and the Social Network. He's usually
in the background as a student or spectator, not exactly high-profile stuff.

That's going to change after Sunday, for sure. His agent better be prepared for an
avalanche of offers. "Dancing With The Stars", McDonald's, Wendy's, Big & Tall, 
Survivor, and even "The Bachelor" are sure to come a calling. Heisman could change the
landscape of the dating reality show on ABC. It's always been guys who look like they
came out of the Vineyard Vines catalog getting the girl. Not anymore. Jesse Heiman
will be hot after swapping spit with one of the world's most beautiful woman

Heiman, who was born in Boston, and is most likely to fall in the category of another
obnoxious Red Sox fan, has also appeared in Old School, Entourage, and MTV's
Camp Cool Cancun.

But this commercial will be a life-changer for Heiman. It will put him on the national
map and probably make him a household name. Lindsay Vonn is sure to drop Tiger Woods
just for theopportunity to date him. (OK, maybe that's a little much). Rafaeli has already  proclaimed Heiman to be a great kisser and you can't ask for a better endorsement than that.

The commercial took 45 takes to complete, which means Heiman probably didn't need
any help from Viagara and Rafaeli likely got a bad case of strep throat.

On Sunday, nerds, geeks, and dorks everywhere will be rejoice. This is their moment.
I just hope Ray Lewis doesn't spoil it by looking to the heavens after the game and
crying like Jimmy Swaggart  after getting busted for hooking up with that prostitute back
in the day.

Go Jesse Heiman.

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