Thursday, February 7, 2013


The mugshot. It's a picture that most of us would like to avoid at all costs. Embarrassing,
humiliating, but most importantly, they are forever, especially for celebrities. Remember
the one of Nick Nolte? I think more people are going to remember the mugshot of Nolte
where he looks to be completely fried out, than for his acting ability. This one has to be
considered the mother of all bad mugshots. I think his partner in '''48 hours", good ole
Reggie Hammonds, would've gotten a huge laugh out of that. Nolte played a star receiver
in "North Dallas Forty" so he's worthy of being on this list.

Todd Helton, the longtime face of the Colorado Rockies, had his face plastered all over the
Internet earlier this week. The veteran first basemen was pulled over for a DUI and the 
mugshot (pictured above), um, well, kind of says it all. Helton is either hammered, suffering the early effects of a massive hangover, or is just too embarrassed to open his eyes. I bet it's a combination of all three. Helton has been a pillar of the Rockies organization and Denver community, but now, most people will remember Helton for this unflattering photo.

If you drink too much, they will come. And on October 22, the police did. Carlton Fisk, Hall of
Fame catcher and Red Sox legend, was parked in a cornfield in suburban Chicago. Police
officials found him asleep with an empty bottle of vodka on the floor. In his mug shot, Pudge
looks like someone just told him the ball he hit in the 1975 World Series actually hooked foul
and his famous home run didn't really count.

The demeanor of Deion Sanders in his mugshot is far different than the one of Fisks'. Prime
Time is acting as if he just won the $300 million Powerball. In June of 1996, Sanders was
arrested for trespassing in his hometown of Fort Myers, Florida.  Apparently, he was fishing on property that was deemed to be off-limits. Sanders doesn't look to be too upset, but then again,
this was long before the Internet was invented.

And then there is John Daly, who looks like a poor, lost soul in his mugshot. This was taken
after he beat up his third wife, or maybe it was his fourth, I'm not sure. But I can tell you with
certainty, that he had more than 10 Jack and diet cokes before this photo was taken.

Mike Tyson has been arrested so many times, I just can't keep track of them anymore. It's
hard to imagine what is going through Tyson's mind in this shot, but you probably wouldn't
be far off if you guessed that he wanted to eat Evander Holyfield's ears for breakfast. Good. lord.

Those brownies that Coco Crisp was munching on, probably had more than just chocolate
in them. The veteran major league outfielder was arrested and booked for a DUI. If those
eyes aren't glazed over thanks to a little somethin', somethin', than Manti Te'o dead girlfriend
really does exist.

Kim Mattingly didn't play a sport, but she was the wife of Yankees great, Don Mattingly.
She was arrested for public intoxication (No Way!!)  and disorderly conduct (Never in a
million years!) She refused to leave the property of her husband, whom she claimed had
her cell phone. Don't think she was one of Dons Five Faves on the wireless plan.

Scottie Pippen got arrested in 1999 for suspicion of DUI and he looks like he's posing for his
Hall of Fame bust. Scottie, quit smiling. It's not funny. You look all nice and pretty, but this is
serious stuff. Oh, wait a minute, he's a millionaire 50 times over, I think he'll be OK, just as long
as he doesn't have to apply for a real job, which is not too likely.

Like Pippen, Miguel Cabrera didn't seem too fazed by his DUI arrest and having to pose for his
mugshot. The Triple Crown winner of the Detroit Tigers was pulled over during spring training
in 2011 and looks like he just spent a night and got lucky with Kate Upton, the girlfriend of teammate Justin Verlander. I think Cabrera now uses this photo for his profile picture on Facebook.

Ooops, he did it again. Lawrence Taylor was arrested in 2010 for allegedly being with an
underage prostitute. But this mugshot was from another arrest for DUI. Do you think his eyes
gave it away to officers that Taylor just may have been on something while he was operating
a vehicle? Perhaps.

Yes, and it counts!!! Marv Albert was arrested in 1997 for allegedly doing all kinds of weird
things to a woman including biting her on the back while wearing panties. She pulled his toupee,
he got arrested. Marv doesn't look to upset because the skunk atop his head stayed still for the mugshot.

Paul Wright did something very wrong back in 1998. Known as the "Big Show" on the WCW wrestling circuit, Wright decided to give his own shown to a female hotel worker, exposing himself. Oh, boy. He was arrested for indecent exposure, but he was later found not guilty
because of insufficient evidence. No comment.

Finally, there is Ric Flair, the wrestling legend. He was arrested in 2005 in Charlotte, North
Carolina for running down a motorist, grabbing him by the neck, and kicking the door of his
car. No way! Perhaps, Flair was just practicing his moves for his show that night, or perhaps,
steroid rage caused road rage and Flair just couldn't compose himself. S-C-A-R-Y.

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