Monday, January 14, 2013

RORY MCILROY, PLEASE QUIT LYING


Rory McIlroy just did it. The world's number one player in golf put his signature on a
mulit-year deal with Nike for $200 million. Imagine getting $200 million dollars to become
part of a company that is going to pay you all that money just to wear a swoosh on your
hat, shirt, and golf bag. Plus, they are going to design clubs for you, throw in a billion balls,
and furnish your wardrobe with all kinds of cool shirts. Wow! That is amazing.

McIlroy, who is just 23-years old and set for life even if he pulls an Ian-Baker Finch and
forgets that the space three fairways over is out of play, was pretty calm and cool after
hitting the jackpot, but fibbed a little about the reason why he signed on with the Big
Swoosh.

"I chose Nike for a number of reasons," McIlroy said.

Um, Rory, I may be getting old and losing some of my brain cells, but please. You signed
with Nike because they gave you $200 million! Who you kidding? If Garanimals offered you
$201 million, you would've signed with them. They would've produced signature
plastic Rory McIlroy clubs and outfitted you in matching purple attire and you would've
said, "Which way to the first tee" if they gave you a dollar more than Nike.

Here's what else McIlroy had to say and what he was really thinking.

McIlroy said: "Signing with Nike is another step towards living out my dream."
McIroy was thinking: "Signing with Nike is just another step towards
humiliating Tiger Woods. I've been kicking his ass on the course, now
I'm on my way to pounding him silly with a bigger bank account.



McIlroy said: "It's a company and a brand that really reasonates with me."
McIlroy was thinking: "Cha-Ching. $200 million is what reasonated with me."

McIlroy said: "It's young, It's athletic. It's innovative."
McIlroy was thinking. "I'm young, athletic, and have won nearly all the
majors. Now where is Katherine Webb?"

Rory, I know you're young. I know you want to be politically correct. I understand
But can you just be honest and say that you signed with Nike because of the money.
Just say it was ALL ABOUT THE MONEY. We'd love you even more if you did

Be honest. Just Do It!

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