Tuesday, January 22, 2013


I learned something from the movie, "Argo", I really should've learned a long,
long time ago. No idea, no matter how far-fetched or downright stupid, is a bad
one. If CIA operative Tony Mendez creates an escape plan to get hostages out
of Iran with them playing the role of Canadian filmmakers scouting "exotic"
locations in Iran for a sci-film, anything is indeed, possible.

All you need is one person to believe in your idea and about 50 Iranians to help
make it work. I'm not sure there are 50 Iranians in Hollywood, but there sure
are a lot of people who believe anything is possible, even a show about "stars"
competing in a diving meet.

I'm sure the producer who pitched his reality show, Celebrity Diving to executives
at ABC, was thinking the same thing as he started his presentation. How bout a
reality show  like "Dancing With The Stars" except that the contestants will be diving.
That's  right, into a pool off a springboard. We'll get supermodels that viewers like Brent
Musburger  can drool over and testosterone-fueled athletes like Ndamukung Suh to
make fun of.

It'll be a combination of "Wipe Out" and "Desperate Housewives," or anybody
who is desparate enough to make a fool of themselves to try to revive a career
that's been been going in reverse since they made an appearance on "Little House
On The Prairie" 30 years ago. The executives snap their fingers and say, "That's
the ticket. Let's start on production."

Celebrity Diving is well into production and is set to air on March 19. Seriously.
This is going to be pure comedy. Katherine Webb, the girlfriend of Alabama QB
AJ McCarron is set to appear. Her 15 minutes of fame has been stretched into
a second hour with contracts to model for the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue
and to be a "reporter" for Inside Edition during the Super Bowl.

Webb has clearly become the new Kim Kardashian, a superstar in-waiting,
tapped on the shoulder by the fame god's, despite having no discernible talent.
Oh, we know the one talent Kardasian had, we're still waiting to see what Webb
has to offer . Maybe executing half-pike with a degree of difficulty of 3.5 will
prove to be it.

Webb previously said she was going to spend more time with her boyfriend,
McCarron, to work on and develop their relationship, but as we can see, that's
not working out too well.  She'll face off against Ndamukung Suh in the first
round of Celebrity Diving. Gee, that's going to be one helluva sight. A 320 lb
rack of flab attempting to pull off the "Triple Lindy" made famous by Rodney
Dangerfield in "Back to School."

I think this show becomes exciting when Suh, upset with the score judge Greg
Louganis (I'm not kidding) stomps on his head and jams a Speedo down his

Can't wait for all the gossip magazines to have cover stories on the love triangle
between Webb, McCarron, and Suh. Man, I'll be first in line to buy that issue.
Good, grief. Has Manti Teo' signed up to be a contestant? Was Lance Armstrong
not available?

This is going to be the worst reality show since "Skating With The Stars". You
don't remember that one with Bruce Jenner competing in a pink jumpsuit and
matching figure skates? Don't feel bad, you're in good company. The show was
pulled after about 3 episodes. Not sure if Celebrity Diving will last that long.

The first episode of Celebrity Diving will be like a NASCAR event. People
will watch it just to see the 10-car pile up. I'm sure the ratings will be strong
on opening night, but after that Celebrity Diving will go in the tank and disappear
into oblivion.

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