Thursday, January 17, 2013

DOS EQUIS GUY VS MANTI TE'O: TALE OF TAPE


Dos Equis Guy He lives vicariously through himself
Manti Te'o He lives by himself in a world all his own

Dos Equis Guy He once started a fire using dental floss and water
Manti Te'o He started a firestorm using a dead girlfriend who didn't exist


Dos Equis Guy His reputation is expanding faster than the universe.

Manti Te'o His reputation is shrinking faster than George Costanza




Dos Equis Guy He is the life of the parties he never even attended
Manti Te'o His life will never be the same and nobody will ever come to his parties.

Dos Equis Guy On every continent in the world, there is a sandwich named after him.
Manti' Te'o On every continent in the world, there is a fool named after him.


Dos Equis Guy His mother has a tattoo that says, "son". 
Manti Te'o His mother has a tattoo that says, "he's not mine."

Dos Equis Guy He has crossed the point of no return--on several occasions. 
Manti Te'o He has crossed the point of no return--and is now royally screwed.


Dos Equis Guy The police often question him just because they find him interesting.
Manti Te'o The police will soon question him because they find him to be a suspect.




Dos Equis Guy He has inside jokes with complete strangers.
Manti Te'o Complete strangers are making him the butt of all inside jokes.

Dos Equis Guy He's made love to Manti Teo's girlfriend.
Manti Te'o. He's never even kissed his girlfriend that doesn't exist.

1 comment:

  1. Lefy and the Dos Equis Guy - Eerily similar! Whoa Nelly.
    You want answers?
    I think I'm entitled to them.
    You want answers?
    I want the truth!
    You can't handle the truth!

    ReplyDelete