Sunday, February 26, 2012

RED SOX BAN BEER BUT NOT CHICKEN WINGS


The Boston Red Sox announced they have banned beer in the clubhouse and on flights home
from road trips. I'm for this because it's one less liquored up idiot on the road we all have
to worry about. Why beer become such a big part of the game in the first place, is beyond me.
But we do live in a copy cat world and somewhere along the line one big star drank after a
game, and many players followed suit.

As for the Red Sox, they'll make like they are the first team in baseball to ban beer in the
clubhouse, because after all, John Henry, Larry Luchino, and Tom Werner pretty much think
they invented the Green Monster,  regional television, and luxury suites. No question, they
are good owners who look even better because the previous ownership was so bad.


The Red Sox are the 19th major league team that's banned beer from the clubhouse.  I'm sure
when legal departments in franchises throughout the game figured out they could be held
responsible for  a player killing someone after they get all liquored up courtesy of the
organization, they told the big suits it'd be a good idea to can all the beer. It really amazes me
that EVERY team hasn't banned beer by now. Perhaps, they just don't want to upset their
million-dollar players and their Galaxy-sized egos.

When manager Bobby Valentine told the team that booze is banned from now on, I'm sure
there were enough WTF's? to fill up Fenway Park. It will be interesting to how the players
respond to this. It's not so much as beer being banned, as it is grown-up "men" and multi-
millionaires being told what to do. You think you're 16-year old daughter likes being told
what to do? Trying imposing your will and rules on athletes who've been told and treated
like they are special all their lives. Many players don't like Valentine in  the first place, now
comes the first salvo in the first chapter of Bobby V.  Players may accept the drinking ban,
but they just might start to turn down the volume on the V network a little sooner. Like now.


Red Sox management pulled the suds out of the buds because they are still trying to hold  
someone accountable for their late-season collapse in 2011. They made Terry Francona a
scapegoat, whom they shoud've erected a statue for,  and didn't really blink when Theo Epstein
took a call from the Chicago Cubs and asked his bosses if he could take the first flight out
of Boston. Making John Lackey the whipping boy and embarrassing Carl Crawford for his embarrassing first year performance wasn't enough. The Red Sox had to ban the beer. Yep,
that's it. That will return us to October glory, they say. Please.

The Red Sox did pretty well in 2004 and 2007 when they won the World Series, didn't
they? They knew Kevin Millar and several players were doing shots of Jack Daniels before
playoff games but never did anything about it. Why? Because they were w-i-n-n-i-n-g! Those
things are colorful when you win, but when you lose, well, um, somebody must do something
and be accountable, right?

Boston always has to have a scapegoat, always. Bet Wes Welker can't wait until training camp
starts.


Saturday, February 25, 2012

GOD IS A PLAYER

 
God is back in the sports world in again. After taking batting practice where the media
reported that Manny Ramiriez "hit seven home runs" (since when did balls hit out of the
park in a round of BP count? Get a life all you Buster Olney's), the newest member of the
Oakland A's said this:

"I'm here because God brought me here. I know a lot of people are, 'Oh, he's not going to
play anymore,' but you know something? When God says that they're going to open the
door for you, no matter what anyone says, the door is going to open. That's why I'm here."


Here we go again. It started in the off-season when Albert Pujols said God was going
to decide  where he would sign in the off-season. The $300 million he got from the Angels
had absolutely nothing to do with it. Then we had "Tebowmania" and his Lord and savior,
Jesus Christ, thing. Now, we have Manny Ramirez of all people, giving his props
to The Man.

I'm just curious about Ramirez and him being a member of the God squad. I'd ask Manny
if  God  told him to throw down a 67-year old traveling secretary for the Red Sox who
couldn't accommodate Manny's last minute request to get him 16 tickets to that night's game.
Did God tell Manny to  take performing enhancing drugs that made him fail numerous
drug tests? Did  God tell Manny to walk out on the Tampa Bay Rays after they took
a chance on him?

I'm not being sacrilegious here. I was raised a strong Catholic, but all this God stuff
in sports is a little much. Next thing you know, God will get a Twitter account and ESPN
will post all his tweets. As far  as Manny Ramirez goes, God had little to do with his signing
with the A's.  Nobody else wanted him. The A's are desperate for fans and some attention,
kind of like Kim Kardashian. They took a flier on him and are paying him $500,000, which
in the real world  is huge iron, but in baseball, it's a salary that's laughed at.

The A's were desperate and so was Manny Ramirez. It was a perfect match. Note to Manny: 
God is not like Chuck Woolery who used to make "Love Connections" after being back 
in "2 and 2". God is not Scott Boras, who tells his clients to take the most money, regardless of whether you have to play in San Francisco or the St. Paul Saints.

Perhaps, God is really just a basketball player in disguise now, who wears high-tops and 
plays for the Knicks. But he surely had nothing to do with Manny signing with the A's.


Wednesday, February 22, 2012

IMAGINE IF I ONLY ATE PIZZA FOR 31 YEARS?


Claire Simmons, a 33-year old London woman has been in a serious relationship with pizza for most of her life. For all but two of her year on the planet,  pizza is the only thing she has eaten. Just pizza. For breakfast, lunch, and dinner, Simmons has wolfed down every big pie in the sky and what's been served on her plate. Herm Cain has been off for awhile, but the Godfather of pizza may be calling London to get Simmons to endorse his pies. And of course, Cain is fond of Simmons because she is an "eater and not a reader."
Doctors say that Simmons suffers from a mental illness known as Selective Eating Disorder. That's funny, I think I have that same illness, except in my case, I select everything on the  menu and eat the hell out of it. Shrimp cocktail, French onion soup, a big fat steak, and chocolate satin pie is usually a good start for me.

But Simmons' obsession got me wondering. What if ate nothing but pizza for 31 years? What would I look like? Perhaps, a cross between John Candy and Chris Farley. I might've gone to the grave as quickly as those funny guys did. Would the chicks still dig me if I was over 300 pounds? Or would they just desire me for the number of zeroes in my bank account?
Simmons' doctors say that her diet has put her life in jeopardy, which is kind of like writing a racist headline on the most well-known sports website in the world. You're done. Finished. And picking out a casket. It's essentially suicide. But man, to eat pizza every day for 31 years? Can it get any better than that? Pizza could be one of man's greatest discoveries. I don't want to use the word, "invent". Nobody "invents" pizza. That term is reserved for the light bulb, wheel, and Al Gore's information superhighway.

Domino's, Papa John's, Godfather, DiGiornio....is there really any truly bad pizza out there? I couldn't sleep last night and I had not one, but two Celeste pizzas. It really hit the spot. The endorphins in my system were released and that made it even more impossible to sleep, so I have four Bud's in about seven minutes to kill the adrenaline. But you know what? I just may do it again tonight because the pizza was that good.




Friday, February 17, 2012

THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE BROKE



THE KID PASSES AWAY
Hall of Fame catcher Gary Carter passed away on Thursday after battling brain cancer.
I loved Carter and the way he played. And for those who thought he was a phony with his
ever present smile and positive attitude, just go back and look at all his pictures over the years,
same guy, never changed. I was at Game 6 of the 1986 World Series and will never forget
his clutch two-out single that propelled the Mets to an incredible comeback. Carter never smoked,
drank, juiced, or strayed from wife, which you can't say for the rest of that team that included
Dwight Gooden, Darryl Strawberry, Lenny Dykstra, Kevin Mitchell, Keith Hernandez and
many others. Carter's death is just another example of life not being fair and a case of only
the good dying young.


AND THEN THERE'S LEBRON....
Everything that comes out of his mouth or Twitter account seems to be stupid. On another
return to Cleveland, King Dumb Ass said he wouldn't rule out finishing his career with the
Cavs. First of all, I don't think Cleveland would want you back, Lebron. Secondly , I'm
sure Miami Heat owner Mickey Arison, who is paying you more than $100 million, loved
hearing that. Same goes for his teammates. As always, it's always about Lebron.


SPEAKING OF STUPID...
Allen Iverson wants to make an NBA comeback. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact
that he's flat broke after draining the $150 million in his career. I'm sure he'll change his attitude
about practice now. I mean, we are talking about paying the bills now, we're not talking about
buying $150,000 cars and $850,000 worth of bling, we're talking about paying the bills, not
buying luxury items, but paying the bills! Maybe he can check in with Antoine Walker, who
torched his $175 million fortune.

=

SPEAKING OF COMEBACKS...
After sitting out the year, Randy Moss said he's coming back to the NFL next year. I'm sure
after not playing for a season, the 35-year old receiver has gotten bigger, stronger, and faster.
The last time he played, Moss got traded by the Patriots, who didn't have any deep threats,
cut the Vikings, and was ignored when he played for the Titans. I'm sure there are teams lined
up for the services of Moss. And I don't think anyone has forgotten about his tirade against
a caterer in Minnesota, calling the services free food, "dog"---something. Bill Belichick saw
Moss' declining skills and that should be enough for other teams to say, "no, thanks."  And
isn't it amazing, the transformation in Moss' personality after he got desperate? He's making
videos and tweeting like he's the second coming of howdy doody. Seriously? I'm sure he'll
want "straight cash, homey."

Have a great weekend.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

BRUCE JENNER: WORLD CLASS ATHLETE TO JUST WEIRD

What the heck happened to Bruce Jenner? He certainly isn't the guy I remembered winning
the gold medal in the decathlon in the 1976 Olympic Games. They called him the "world's
greatest athlete" back then, and with all-American looks, he seemed destined for really big
things. 36 years after having a wreath placed upon his head, Jenner appears to now have
a ball and chain around his ankle. His fall from real American hero to part of the reality train 
wreck that is the Kardashian's, is really quite fascinating.


Something must've happened to Jenner as soon as he crossed the finish line in Montreal. With
the cameras focusing on his beautiful wife crying after seeing her husband win a gold medal,
Jenner just kept on running and running, and running some more. Jenner was in a full out
sprint for fame and fortune. He was on the cover of the Wheaties box, sponsors adored him
and his wholesome image, and he made a niche for himself as a sports analyst. Jenner had
dollars signs in his eyes and didn't need anything holding him back, so naturally, he thought
dumping his first wife would allow him to pursue his dreams.


Jenner wanted to be a movie star and appeared in several made-for-tv programs like
"Grambling's White Tiger," where he played a quarterback and was the only white man
in an all-black school. His performance wasn't worthy of an Emmy, or an ESPY,
for that matter. Jenner pretty much faded into oblivion. I guess that's where he went to have
that awful plastic surgery done. What happened to his nose? His face? That all-American
image? It looked like Jenner went to the same plastic surgeon that Michael Jackson did.


The former gold medalist came back big in "Skating With The Stars." You never saw that
debacle? Neither did anyone else, that's why it got canned quickly. But Jenner found his
meal ticket and fix for attention when the Kardashian's became part of our culture. (How
sad is that statement? The Kardashian's became part of our culture. Only in America.)
Jenner married the Kardashian who had been married to one of the lawyers representing
O.J. Do you feel the need to shower yet? This story is getting slimy.



Anyway, you know the rest. The reality show, the drama, the 2-minute marriage between
Kim and Kris Humphries, which the entire Kardashian clan has taken a beating for. And
rightfully so. Every part of that production was done for the almighty dollar.

But now, Jenner is putting his foot down for the time since he crushed his competition in
the decathlon in 1976. He is not going to take it anymore. Jenner told Ellen DeGeneres
on her show that when it comes to men and relationships with Kim that "the next guy has 
to go through me."


Wow, that sounds like that has the makings of a reality show to me. "You want to 
date Kim? We'll then  you have to go through me." I'm thinking steel-cage death 
match on the E network. Brilliant. A real ratings grabber. Jenner vs. Kris Humphries
with Joey Buttofucco and Amy Fisher on the undercard. Or perhaps, the failed 
Lenny Dykstra-Jose Canseco match can be resurrected.




Jenner also noted in his interviewing with DeGeneres that he and his wife Kris, 
have to make sure Kim makes "better decisions". Um, excuse me. You probably 
should've talked with her after she made that sex tape. Were you out to lunch on 
that one? Or perhaps, getting a touch up from your plastic surgeon?


Bruce Jenner. What the heck happened to you?






Tuesday, February 14, 2012

SPORTS ILLUSTRATED SNUBBED ME----AGAIN!


I really thought today would be the day that changed my life forever. I had visions of appearances
on Letterman, Access Hollywood, and the Today show. But when I woke up this morning and
scanned the Internet, I realized that I had become like Bill Murray's character in "Groundhog Day."
No matter how hard I try, not matter what I do, I get the same result. For years, I've been trying
to get chosen as Sports Illustrated's Cover Model for the swimsuit issue. And every year, I get
rejected like the two guys who ring your doorbell while toting a bible and outfitted in a black tie
and white short-sleeved shirt. They always say something about being Saints fans back in the day.


After a month of hard core training and dieting on nothing but Krispy Kreme donuts, I thought
I was in prime shape to make my dream come true. I was shredded like Terrell Owens' mother
and studied with the Dali Lama to ensure that I was poised and of a clear mind to produce
a remarkable photo shoot. The award-winning photographer, Elizabeth G., suggested the
banks of the Croton-on-the-Hudson just outside of New York City as our location. She wanted
to use the chocolate-colored river to bring out the true contrast of my frightening white body
(Think Larry Bird or the population of Maine whose flesh doesn't see the sun until mid-August).

We decided to expand our portfolio with body painting. I knew this had become popular with
the people of Sports Illustrated and fans of the issue. Elrod Neiman, the son of world-renowned
painter, Leroy Neiman, was chosen to turn my pasty-white body into a cover of deep black with
blue striping. I thought it worked well, and with the variety of my portfolio, I certainly thought
it would give me a better chance at making it onto the pages of Sports Illustrated.


The latex-based paint from Sherman Williams made the hair in my arm pits a little crunchy,
but other than that, and the eight hours it took to canvass my 240 pounds of meat, it was
a good experience. After a healthy dosing of air-brushing and glossing, I was confident that
I'd finally become a household name after my appearance in SI. This would surely be the day
that my dream would come true.

My agent got a call in mid-December from Sports Illustrated saying they were going to
produce an "Over 40 and fat issue" and wanted to know if I was interested in that one, which
comes out in August. "No chance," I said. "It was all or nothing. You can play in the big
leagues in Tampa or you can do it on the big stage of New York." I wanted the February
issue or nothing at all. I got nothing. Not a crumb, not a scrap, not an insert for Viagra on page
232. 


That's ok. There's always next year. If Randy Moss and Manny Ramirez can make a
comeback well past their prime, then so can I.








































Monday, February 13, 2012

HOW GREAT WAS THAT!?


How great was that to see Bill Belichick playing golf in the Pebble Beach Pro-Am in a Hoodie!
Classic Belichick and just classic. He's done for Hoodie's what Ashton Kutcher did for Twitter.
The Patriots head coach actually smiled once or twice which also falls under the category of
the headline. The guy can play, too. I don't think Hoodie had picked up a club since before training camp and he was playing better than Tiger Woods did in his final round.

How great was that to see Phil Mickelson come from six strokes down in the final round at Pebble
Beach to win the tournament. Lefty was lethal with the putter and Tiger, who was paired with
Mickelson over the last 18 holes, must've been in serious pain as he crumbled and had to watch
Lefty make some incredible shots on his way to his 40th career victory, proving the man with the man
boobs is not done yet.


How great was that to see Nicklas Lindstrom of the Detroit Red Wings to set a  record
on Sunday night against the Philadelphia Flyers. The Red Wings seven-time winner of the
Norris Trophy (Best defenseman) played in his 1,550th game with Detroit, making Lindstrom
the leader in games played with one team in franchise history. Former Wings great Alex
Devechhio had the previous mark of 1,449 games with one team. 20 years with one team
in this day and age of free-agency and chasing the almighty dollar is pretty amazing.


How great was that to Jeremy Lin lead the Knicks to a fifth consecutive win on Saturday against
the Timberwolves. The Harvard graduate is averaging 25 points a game and running the offense
like Bob Cousy. Forget about "Tebowmania", Lin has created the most buzz across two countries
since Fernando Valenzuala came out of nowhere to author "Fernandomania", which was truly
a phenomenon. Hope the Knicks don't mess things up with Carmelo Anthony comes backs and
starts demanding to get the ball and his points.


How great was that to see Bill Murray at Pebble Beach once again. Murray IS Pebble Beach.
It's the four greatest days of the year when he can act like all the characters from "Caddyshack".
Murray channeled his inner Carl Spackler on Saturday, wearing a camouflage outfit. It didn't
look very comfortable, but it was pretty funny.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

JEREMY LIN: MORE PROOF THERE ARE NO 'EXPERTS'



In sevent starts with the New York Knicks, Jeremy Lin is averaging more than 20 points a game
while running the offense like Bob Cousy. He has single-handily saved the Knicks season and
perhaps, even the NBA, whose games were about as watchable as an 8-year trying to play Mozart
on the piano.

Lin has become a bona-fide sensation and the talk of New York, the country, and all of Asia. His
story is nothing short of amazing. Undrafted out of Harvard, like just about everyone else who has
played basketball at the Ivy League school,  cut by two NBA teams, and buried on the bench of a
third. Lin only got playing time because the Knicks needed warm bodies on the floor. Now, he's
playing like Steve Nash in his prime.

Anyone who has watched Lin play realizes that he is a something special. He is an unselfish,
team oriented player with incredible skills. The big question is, in a sport where scouts and
executives can spot players thousands of miles of away (Ricky Rubio, Dirk Nowitzki,
Pau Gasol, among many others), how did they miss on a special player like Lin, who was
playing in their own backyard? How could the Knicks, who were so bad before the installation
of Lin, bury a player of such talent on the bench. Mike D'Antoni and his staff watched him
every day in practice and they didn't know he was this good?



Lin is further proof there are no 'experts' in sports, or in most businesses for that matter.
It used to sicken me when the media outlets would bring on "anti-terrorism" experts after
the World Trade Center bombing in 1993, 9/11, Anthrax, and the Times Square bomber.
If you were such an "expert" why didn't you help prevent the things you're providing
"expert" analysis on?

In the world of sports, the "experts" make colossal blunders all the time. Tom Brady was
a  sixth-round draft pick, which means every NFL team passed him over not once, but
five times. Are you kidding me? Those same NFL experts thought JaMarcus Russell, Ryan
Leaf, Tony Mandarich, and Vernon Gholston were first-round picks and impact players.
How'd they turn out. The list goes on and on and on, of players who were busts. The ones
who were scouted and praised by the likes of Mel Kiper, Jr.



These same experts give ridiculous contracts to players like Carl Crawford, Carlos
Zambrano, Jayson Werth, J.D Drew, and Adam Dunn. These GM's and executives have
become like weather "experts" on television. You're considered a success if you're right
about 30 percent of the time. Ooops, I missed on that huge storm?! Oh, that's ok,
as long as I smile and dress nice, I'll keep my job. It's gotten to be the same way with
the so-called "forecasters" and "predictors" in sports.

There are no "experts" in sports, especially baseball. There is no schooling or education
they get that makes them smarter than anyone else. Some like Jerry West, one of the
greatest players in NBA have a feel and an eye for talent and know about chemistry.
Others like Michael Jordan have absolutely no clue on how to evaluate talent and put
together a team. He, like many other GM's in sports are no better than people putting
together a fantasy sports team, who are "experts" just like everyone else.











Thursday, February 9, 2012

OCHOCINCO AND OIL CAN: PURE COMEDY

BREAKING NEWS. Chad Ochocinco wants the world to know that he's changing his name
back to Chad Johnson. Whew, I can return to watching "Jersey Shore" in peace now. Yes,
the Patriots little used, tweets a lot, wide receiver is making it known to the world that he is
going back to his Johnson. Apparently, he doesn't want his fiance to have to be known as
Evelyn Ochocinco after they get married this summer. Really, Chad, after catching a
whopping 15 passes for the Patriots this season do you really think she wanted anything to
do with the name Ochocinco?


Here are some of the names Chad should have considered changing his name to:

Chad OchoNEVERplays
Chad IDontKnowThePlaybook
Chad TedyBruschiHatesMyAss
Chad BelichickIsAboutToCutMe
Chad UnemploymentLine

I distinctly remember after Belichick acquired Ochocinco and Albert Haynesworth before
training camp, people were saying the Patriots were a lock to go to the Super Bowl. How
ironic is it that the Patriots didn't need either one of them to get there?



Sometimes I wonder if Ochocinco was the illegitimate kid of Dennis "Oil Can" Boyd. Oil
Can was a very entertaining pitcher for the Boston Red Sox. He won a whopping 78 games
in his 10-year career. After being left off the all-star team one year, the Can went postal.
Red Sox GM Lou Gorman suggested that Oil Can get some psychological help. A few
years later, after Wade Boggs admitted he was a sex addict, Oil Can famously said, "Now,
who needs pyschological help?" Oil Can was a loose cannon. He did some strange things
on and off the field. Many people wondered if he was on something.

Apparently, he was.The former Red Sox pitcher admitted that he was on cocaine and usually stayed up all night before games in which he was going to start.


"Some of the best games that I've ever, ever pitched in the major leagues, I stayed up all 
night. I'd say two-thirds of them," he said Wednesday. "And if I had went to bed, I would 
have won 150 ballgames in the time span that I played and ... I felt like my career was cut 
short for a lot of reasons."
Let's see. Would one of them being pitching when you're all coked up and acting like a
lunatic? Oh, yes. Be sure to by Oil Can's autobiography when it hits book stores on June 
1st. Or you can just wait until June 3rd and you can get it on ebay for a dime.


It's time for me to go to bed now.

CRY, BOSTON, CRY

 
Boston is the best sports town in the country, bar none. If you've lived, worked, and been
a part of the community, then you know what I'm talking. The town wreaks of sports history
and it sometimes feels Larry Bird, Bobby Orr, Carl Yastremski, and Bill Russell are walking
the streets with the people. There have been more parades down Boyleston Street than
any city in the country and the Duck Boats have been used so often they are being replaced
and sold on EBay. The fans are knowledgeable and passionate, but the words classy,
well-behaved and respectful, would never make it into this sentence. As Bill Belichick
often says, "it is what it is."


After years of futility and frustration, the floodgates opened for Boston sports fans in
2001 when they won the Super Bowl. Since then, Boston has celebrated six major sports championship, in addition to four national titles in college hockey (3 for BC, 1 for BU). The abundance of riches is truly amazing, and probably a little sickening if you're not a Boston
fan. They have celebrity rock-star athletes like Tom Brady, David Ortiz, Dustin Pedroia,
Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, there are a few on the Bruins, but unless you live in Boston,
you'll have no idea the names  I'm talking about it.


Now, the sky is falling in Boston just like old times. The Red Sox choked on the
chalapua (or chicken wings) down the stretch and self-destructed. The blame game
followed. Terry Francona "resigned" and Theo Esptein said yes to the Chicago Cubs
before they even offered him a contract. There was no way he was sticking around to deal
with Larry Lucchino, who has been known to channel his "Evil Empire".  People in
Boston were abandoning the good ship Fenway after the fiasco.

Things have been  compounded by the Patriots second consecutive loss in a Super Bowl.
All of a sudden Belichick can't coach, Welker can't catch, and Brady can't keep his wife's
mouth shut. Vinny in Revere says, "The Patriots are frauds." Ronnie in Sommerville has
burned his Brady jersey. And Mike in Everrit says the game has "passed Belichick by."
Sports talk radio has been lit up with the "fellowship of the miserable", depressed callers
with no life, trying to bring the Patriots down to theirs.




Boston is town/city that couldn't handle defeat when they never won anything, now
they're showing they can't handle it either, when they've been used to winning everything.
They would shove it down the throats of non-Boston fans when they won, but they can't
handle the taste of it when other teams win.

We know this. Sports has gotten out of control. We've seen that with the brutal fights
in the streets of Philadelphia and at Dodgers Stadium. While I'm at it, I might as well
through in Egypt soccer game, where the aftermath left 74 people dead. What the hell is
going on here?

Fans today actually think they are part of the team. They refer to the team as "WE".
What position did you play in the game? Did you get your head busted up on a kick-off?
You "WE" guys, are not part of the team, you're just living out some weird type of fantasy.



Boston fans, be grateful for what you have. No city has seen victory as often as Boston
in the last 10 years. You have 7 major championships over the span. Atlanta can't spell
championship, much less ever win one. The only championship Charlotte ever sees are
the ones that nobody besides Vern and Jethro care about.

Boston show some grace, show some class. You've won a lot of things. Act like you've
been there before. We've seen your act when you've lost, and it's not very becoming of the
best sports town in the world.


I realize you always have to have a scapegoat. Buckner wore the horns far too long. Terry
Francona, the best manager in Red Sox history had to take the fall for others, which was
truly sad. Now, you want to point the finger at Wes Welker, a blood and guts receiver who
has done incredible things for the Patriots.  People in Boston make like Brady's pass hit him
between the numbers. It didn't. Brady deserves just as much blame for an off-the-mark pass
to a guy who was WIDE open.

I realize  Boston has been in a championship drought, after all, they haven't hoisted a trophy
since last June when the Bruins won the Stanley Cup. Must be tough. Be seriously, Boston.
Quit crying and pointing the finger at somebody. Appreciate what you have, because what
you have is something others would kill for. But they could do without the crying.






















Wednesday, February 8, 2012

LEGACY TALK: STOP THE NON-SENSE

Few people are as obsessed with "legacies" as those in the sports media. After someone
retires, makes a clutch play, or self-destructs on the field or in life, the talking heads and
computer geeks with a press pass always seem to want to pose the question, "How will
they be remembered?" Or, "How will this effect his legacy?"

This was never more apparent than during Super Bowl week when many were asking
how  a loss by the Patriots would change the legacy of Tom Brady and Bill Belichick,
who were  3-1 in Super Bowls before last Sunday. If it wasn't Belichick/Brady, it was
how a win would effect the legacies of  Eli Manning/Tom Coughlin. If they get their
second Super Bowl victory, would they be considered Hall of Famers?


I have one big question. S-E-R-I-O-U-S-L-Y? This legacy stuff while athletes and
coaches are still competing is ridiculous. I mean, who really cares and what does it matter?
What was Tiger Woods' legacy after he won his 12th major and what was it after he slept
with half the woman in the free world?

It just doesn't happen with sports figures, either. What if we etched George Bush's legacy
in stone after he landed  on an aircraft carrier on May 1, 2003 and proclaimed that it
was "Mission Accomplished" concerning the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan? Those two
wars ended eight years later. When Bush touched down on the USS Abraham Lincoln,
American casualties stood at 139 killed and 542 wounded. That was over 4,000 US fatalities
ago.


Chris Matthews on MSNBC called Bush a “hero” and enthusiastically stated, “He won
the war. He was an effective commander. Everybody recognizes that, I believe, except
a few critics.” I wonder what Matthews would say if he re-evaluated things today.

There is a start and finish to every athlete, coach, and even politician's career. Why do
people waste time trying to write it long before they are over? Should the sports world
have set John Elway's career in stone after he was on the losing end of his first three Super
Bowls? He won his last two, so what's his "legacy?" Does it really matter?  Who does it
really matter to that Dan Marino never won a Super Bowl? Is he less of quarterback than
Elway because the Bronco legend won two of them?


Don Shula, considered one of the greatest coaches of all-time, had a record of 2-4 in Super
Bowls. Did that really effect his legacy? Hell, no. He's in the Hall of Fame and considered
one of the best ever leaders of a football team. Belichick and Brady won their first three
Super Bowl appearances, but have lost their last two. Will that effect their entry into the
Hall of Fame? Doubt it.


I get it. I realize that because of PTI, SportsCenter, Talk Radio, Twitter, and Facebook, there
are platforms to debate, rage, and vent. It drives the numbers and moves the needle. I get it.
But this "legacy" stuff long before a career ends, is somewhat laughable.

Perhaps, Lou Holtz, the former college football coach and current ESPN analyst summed it
up best when he said, "Who cares about legacy? People forget about you five minutes after
your buried."






Saturday, February 4, 2012

LANCE ARMSTRONG WINS AGAIN



When Tyler Hamilton, a cyclist, who failed numerous drug tests and surrendered
an Olympic Gold medal because of them, appeared on "60 Minutes" back in May
accusing Lance Armstrong of using performance-enhancing drugs, the court of
public opinion damned the 7-time Tour de France winner and cancer survivor as
a "fraud", "cheat", and "liar." They said he must be guilty if Hamilton testified
under oath that he saw Armstrong with his own two eyes, get injected with PED's.

On Friday, Federal prosecutors announced they were ending their two-year
investigation of Armstrong for not only PED's, but fraud. Armstrong had been
accused of misusing funds given to the team he was riding on by its sponsor, the
U.S. Postal Service. The government spent two whole years and millions
of dollars trying to take down Armstrong and what'd they get? Nothing.


Super agent Jeff Novitzky tried to do the same thing to Barry Bonds and Roger
Clemens, and just like in the case of Armstrong, he got nothing. Oh, sure, Bonds was
sentenced to 30 days of house arrest and Clemens has another trial coming up, but
for all the testimony of snitches like Hamilton, (a convicted liar and cheat) and Floyd
Landis, (a convicted liar and cheat), and a massive witch hunt, they got nothing.

Through all of this, we learned three things. One, Lance Armstrong and Bonds are
bullet proof. Two, the government and their "experts" are inept. And three, people
should stop giving any credibility to liars and cheats like Hamilton and Landis. The
latter doesn't really shock me because in our society, people have a penchant for
believing everything they read and hear. It all goes back to the gossip groups in the
high school cafeterias, people believe the rumors without finding out for themselves or
asking what kind of agenda the accuser has.



In the case of Armstrong, the agenda of Hamilton and Landis was as clear as the
amount of synthetic testosterone showed up in their urine samples. These cyclists failed
tests, were stripped of titles and had their reputations smeared forever. They felt if
they were going to be embarrassed and ruined by being outed forusing PED's, then
Armstrong should suffer the same fate. It didn't matter thatArmstrong was the most
tested person in cycling and never failed a test. The gossip hounds and "believers"
will say that Armstrong was just better as masking his PED's. Perhaps so, but unless
there is a failed test, all those people can cry and moan all they want to, but Armstrong
will never suffer the same fate as Hamilton, Landis, or even Alberto Contador, who
did fail tests.

Plus, Armstrong has done more to raise money for cancer research than anyone in
the history of sports. People like him. They don't like squealers like Hamilton and
Landis. Did I think Armstrong used PED's to dominate a sport filled with liars and
cheats. Perhaps. But why did the most tested athlete in his sport never fail a single
test? Was he a chemist? Did he know when to get off PED "cycles" better?


There isn't a smoking gun anywhere. A two-year investigation by the government
would've turned up something. All that baloney that he failed tests in Europe but
they got contaminated, is pure garbage. Oh, the haters will be on hating Armstrong
and the rumors will follow him, but there is a big difference between failing a test
and being rumored to have flunked one. Just ask Landis. Just ask Hamilton. Armstrong
has won his last race and there is no one who will ever catch him, ever.



Friday, February 3, 2012

3 COMMERCIALS THAT DIDN'T MAKE SUPER BOWL CUT




TIM TEBOW AND CHRISTIAN SINGLES.COM
Tebow wearing long, white robe with leather belt and long sheppard's herding cane in hand.

"Hi, I'm Tim Tebow. When my Lord and savior, Jesus Christ, can't hook me up, I take
a knee and log on to Christian Singles.com. I believe in the power of the Internet. You may
think I'm praying to my Lord and savior, Jesus Christ to throw touchdowns passes during
the game, but I'm actually praying that Christian Singles.Com can find me a scorching babe
in the Rocky Mountains who just happens to be a virgin and genuflect to Urban Meyer, too.
Go the distance on Christian Singles.com

ALLEN IVERSON AND ANTOINE WALKER FOR PAWN KINGS INC.
The former NBA greats admitted recently that they had blown all their cash, a total of over $200
million dollars




Iverson: "I'm Allen Iverson, 'sup.
Walker: "I'm Anotoine Walker and I used to do the Shimey Shake"
Iverson: "He ain't shakin' no more and the judge has been garnishing my wages. In other words, we are
              flat ass broke."
Walker: "I don't have an education...
Iverson: "And I not only hate practice, but I can't stand to work. We're talking about work, not practice,
              man, we're talking about work.
Walker: "So if you need cold, hard cash and quick, perhaps to pay off gambling debts like me..
Iverson: "And you don't like to practice or work....
Walker: "Then you should go to Pawn Kings, Inc.
Iverson: "You'll get cash and you won't have to work...
Walker: "If you have some bling...
Iverson" "They'll give you the cash...and the best part about it, you don't have to work or even
               practice.


KRIS HUMPHRIES AND AMERICAN EXPRESS.
Do you know me? I got married, then in 72 days, I got dumped. My ex-wife makes
millions despite having just one talent, and you and the rest of the world probably saw what
that was on the Internet. That gold-digging Kardashian kept my $2 million engagement ring
so I'm deep in debt. But no need to fret, I got the American Express black card, and I may
just get the last laugh, yet. The American Express card, if Kardashian is at your place, don't
leave home without it.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

THE MAN BEHIND THE SIGNING DAY SHOWS

The first Wednesday in February is one of the biggest days in college football, even though
nobody is putting on the pads or throwing a pass. It's National Signing Day, a time when
high school studs across the country put pen to paper and make their college choice official.
After months and years of the recruiting process which included thousands upon thousands
of letters, calls, e-mails, texts, tweets, and probably some under the table cash, the next wave
of  stars put their signature on a letter-of-intent.


How big has this day become? Check out the cover pages of ESPN.com, CNNSI.com and
manypapers throughout the country. There will be television shows across many sports
networks dedicated to telling college football fans which 5-star players are going to their
favorite school or alma mater.

The man behind these shows is now a professional sports agent, but a long time ago, Scott Alexander put together a program that became the model for which all others followed. You
know when the players put a number of hats, each representing a school that was heavily
recruiting their services, in front of them and then carefully and dramatically picks one out
to the cheers of family, friends, not to mention fans and college coaches?  That was all
Alexander's creation. So are the live talk backs with college coaches and recruiting "experts".



Everything you see on these recruiting shows were the ideas of Alexander who was the
producer of "Countdown To Signing Day" on Fox Sports Net South, which began running
the show in the late 90's, long before ESPN, Comcast SportsNet, and CSTV, now CBS
Sports Network, even thought about producing one.

"Countdown To Signing Day" was the signature program of Fox Sports Net South for
many years, an Emmy-award winning program  the network hung its hat on. But they didn't
just do it on National Signing Day, they did it every week for the four months leading up
to the climax of the recruiting process. Alexander was the main cog in the machine. He was
a mini Mel Kiper, Jr., who knew every stat, every time in the 40-yard dash, every pound
of a recruits bench-press, and every school in the country that was recruiting him. Alexander
was way before his time when it came to knowing how to make a recruiting show purr.



Alexander would get video on every important player in the country, which meant calling
television stations in cities you've never heard of, much less can pronounce. With a shoe-string budget, he had to use the power of persuasion to get these sports directors and photographers
to not only shoot the video, but package it up and send it as well. And on their dime. That's
no easy feat in the world of television.


The LSU grad had every big-time coach in the country on speed-dial and he'd get them
on the show. Nick Saban, Lou Holtz, Bobby Bowden, if they were big in college football, Alexander would get them to appear on his program. "Countdown to Signing Day" was
shown weekly  in the the south, the hot bed of college football and recruiting.

People in that rabid college football state wanted any type of information on players who
could possibly be signing with their school, and Alexander would always give it to them
every Saturday during the season, and in a 2-hour special on recruiting day. But he not
only did it for football, but basketball, as well. And he'd get high school phenoms like
Lebron James and J.J. Reddick to come on the show live and talk about where they
were being recruiting.



Alexander coaxed LeBron to fly down to Atlanta from Akron with nothing but a plane
ticket. King James complained that his tickets weren't first class, but "Scotty A" just laughed
and said, "You won't have to worry about that next year." Alexander had a way with players, coaches, and parents. He could get anyone on the show. Didn't matter how big they were
or how far they'd have to travel, they'd come to Atlanta just to be on "Countdown To Signing Day."

For some reason, Fox Sports Net South dropped the program five years ago. They cancelled
a show that many in the south were simply addicted to. Just as every other network in the
country was following the model that Alexander had established, Fox Sports Net South dropped
the show like it was piping hot. And it was. It's akin to Mark Zuckerberg investing hours
upon hours on Facebook and then saying, "Eh, I'm done. Too much work."


Alexander has moved on to being a successful professional sports agent, but when you see all
the recruiting shows on television today, remember who  made them what they
are.