Wednesday, December 26, 2012

OCHOCINCO SEX TAPE? OOOOH, NOOOO!


I've experienced some pretty bad losing streaks in my life, but they pale
in comparison to the one Chad Johnson is riding. In the last six months,
the football player formerly known as Ochocinco, has seen his life turn
into a train wreck.

Last August, while trying to earn a spot with the Miami Dolphins, Johnson
got into an argument with his wife over the receipt for condoms that was
left in his glove compartment. In the heat of the exchange, Johnson head
butted his wife, causing a gash on her forehead. He was arrested, then
on the HBO's series, "Hard Knocks", the entire world got to see him
get fired from his job. But wait, there's more.


Zico, the company that makes coconut water, which had signed Johnson
to a deal to endorse its product on July 25, dropped him like he was hot.
VH1 canceled his reality series before a single episode had aired, and his \
wife of just 41 days, filed for divorce. 41 days? That made the Kim Kardashian-Kris
Humphries 72 day union seem like an eternity.

With his legal issues hanging over him, Johnson couldn't find a team to
take a chance on him, even as many offenses were desperate for help
at wide receiver. That's what you call a bad streak.

On Wednesday, things got worse for Johnson.....I think. Johnson admitted
that a sex tape he recorded three years ago has been leaked. No way!!! This
has NEVER happened before! A leaked tape? Who on earth would do that
besides the friends of Kardashian,  Paris Hilton, Hulk Hogan, and a few dozen
others? Johnson was so crestfallen, he called the FBI, just as Hogan did, to
find out who could \possibly release his sex tape. Hogan is still waiting on
his answer. Seriously, don't you think the FBI has better things to do than
search for the guy who leaked the tape of Ochocinco's Johnson?


OK. Let's think about this. Johnson loves attention like Lindsay Lohan does,
times a 1,000. He has an ego, not to mention a large Twitter following, that
needs to be fed. Johnson is addicted to the attention. It fuels him, drives him,
and has made him to do some really stupid things...like record a sexual encounter
with two woman at the same time.

Who makes sex tapes? People who want to be discovered or those who don't
want the attention to fade away, that's who. Nobody knew Kardashian before
she did her tape that was just somehow released. Hulk Hogan? Good, Lord.
But they both got the attention they wanted. Kardashian became a household
name and Hogan got to be an Internet sensation for another 48 hours. And it
just so happens that Hogan is opening a new restaurant, "Hogan's Beach" on
New Year's Eve. Perhaps, he wanted a some advanced attention. Aren't
all these sex tapes "leaked" in advance of something? Sure seems that way.

Now, we have Ochocinco, a man so thoroughly addicted to the attention,
he will do just about anything to get it, including the "leakage" of a sex
tape. Anybody who doesn't want anybody to see a sex tape of them either
burns or drowns it. They do whatever they have to do to make sure it's
never viewed by anybody, anywhere.


Those who need attention wouldn't do that. Ever. A sex tape with a celebrity,
even in this day and age where nothing is surprising anymore, gets about 48
hours in the news cycle before it's rinsed away. That's 48 hours more than
Johnson got yesterday, which was zero.

With no team, no endorsements, and no job, a sex tape is about the only
thing that will keep Johnson relevant for another 48 hours. After that, it's
just a life relegated to Twitter and trying to keep from going to prison for
head butting his wife of 41 days.

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