Monday, December 10, 2012

BOBBY PETRINO: HE'S BAAAAAAACK!


Hide the interns, recruiting assistants, and cheerleaders, Bobby Petrino is back!
The disgraced coach who has worn out welcomes, recruiting assistants and trust
quicker than you can say Pig-Soooooey!, has landed on his feet.

Western Kentucky, a member of the Sun Belt Conference, has hired Petrino to
be its new football coach. Petrino, you may remember, had re-built Arkansas into
a national power and was in the midst of a 7-year contract that paid him a whopping
$3.5 million a year,  before crashing his motorcycle on some back road in Arkansas,
(think Dukes of Hazard). And then Petrino's life began to unravel.


Gool Ole Bobby showed up at a press conference with a bunch of broken bones
and a face that looked liked it lost a fight with a wood-chipper. There was serious
damage to his face, his Harley, and what lay under the hood. Turns out, Petrino
crashed while giving a young girl a ride on his hog. Turns out, he was having
an affair with that girl, whom he had given a job within the football program,
and a nice $20,000 gift. Man, that Petrino sure is generous!

Petrino got fired for lying to his bosses at Arkansas, just as he did to Atlanta
Falcons owner Arthur Blank, who asked him point-blank if he was entertaining
an offer from Arkansas while he was head coach of the Falcons. Petrino said he
wasn't, but the next day, he resigned, leaving a note in the players lockers, before
bolting for Bubba Clinton territory. Man, that Petrino is a class guy!


But Petrino can definitely coach. He has trouble telling the truth or staying loyal,
but the guy can flat out coach. And in this day and age of high-stakes college
football where winning translates into millions of dollars, administrators (especially
in the South) often overlook certain transgressions on a person's record.

If Petrino went looking for a job in the real world, he'd have trouble getting
one at McDonald's with his record and reputation. You think any company
doing a background check on Petrino would look the other way with his
employment history? Hell, no!


Last August, Petrino went on ESPN as part of his image and reputation makeover.
He didn't cry like Jim Baker after the former televangelist did after admitting his
affair with Jessica Hahn. He didn't cry like Richard Gere did in "Officer and A
Gentleman" and scream, "I've got no place else to go." But Petrino did work in
a few emotional pauses, complete with a little mist in the eyes. You got the feeling
as soon as the producers said, "Ok, we're good", Bobby went up to them
and asked, "How'd I do?"

Western Kentucky thinks Petrino will do pretty well. He has a track record of
producing successful seasons in college football. Western Kentucky needs to
win football games. That's what its all about. In college sports, there will ALWAYS
be a job for you as long as you can win games, fill the stands, and get the boosters
to support the program by writing big, fat checks.

Good luck, Western Kentucky, chances are, you're going to need it.

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