Wednesday, November 14, 2012
HOPE SOLO'S ACT PERFECT FOR TRASH TV
Hope Solo is smart. She knows that people in this country only care about women's
soccer once every four years during the Olympics. Even then, it's only for about seven
minutes, nine if you include the "extra" time they run around during ties after regulation.
If Solo didn't have a flair for the dramatic, she would've been forgotten
like the rest of her USA teammates by now. Do you remember anybody on the U.S.
Olympic soccer team outside of Solo? OK, you might remember Abby Weinbach but
only because she probably has a striking resemblance to your brother.
Solo has managed to stay a little bit relevant thanks to her "memoir" where she
claimed that everybody but Tim Tebow attacked or threaten her. She revealed that her
partner, Maks Chmerkovskiy, on "Dancing With The Stars" slapped and "treated me nasty."
Oh, no! Not Maks, the lady killer! Say it ain't so Chmerkovskiy. Perhaps, Solo has that "it"
that drives people to do stupid things. They love her, but can't stand her at the same time.
That's what I'm starting to think.
On Monday night, Solo's fiance', whom she had known for all of two months, was charged
with assaulting her in Seattle. The future Mr. Hope Solo is none other than Jerramy Stevens,
the former first-round pick of the Seattle Seahawks who was proclaimed a bust. Other than
dropping passes, Stevens is well-known in the Pacific Northwest for racking up a reckless
driving charge after he drove straight into a nursing home. Good thing the old fellas
were playing bingo at the time and not participating in arts and crafts in the room Stevens
Solo and Stevens were allegedly arguing over where they were going to live. It was going
to be either Seattle or Florida. Let's see, it rains all the time, every day in Seattle and it rains
at 3pm every day in the Sunshine State. Seems like an easy decision to make. I don't know
if they were auditioning to have their own reality show or what, but Stevens allegedly twisted
the arm of his longtime fiance' during the argument. When police arrived, they found
Stevens, all six-foot, seven inches of him, hiding upstairs between the bed and the wall.
Now, that's funny.
Oh, it gets even better. Solo's brother was at the apartment, where it turns out, there was
an actual party. When things got out of hand, he used a stun gun on two people. Maybe,
I'm out of the loop and time has passed me by, but who the heck carries around a STUN
GUN?! Good, grief. That Solo family, I think them people have some issues going on.
Well, good old butter fingers Stevens, wound up getting arrested. Solo apparently was
standing by her man. After the charges were eventually dropped, she ended up marrying
the guy on Tuesday night. For real. Unlike Kim Kardashian, who divorced Kris Humphries
after 72 days, Solo appears to be in it for the long haul or until she meets General Petraeus.
Perhaps that's why she wanted to move to Florida so badly. Isn't that where Petraeus and
his buddy, John Allen were hanging out when Jill Kelley and Paula Broadwell came along?
Anyway, I'm sure Solo and Stevens are on the Love Boat right about now for the start
of their romantic honeymoon. Sounds like true love to me or perhaps, the first episode of their
Solo is starting to remind me of Linsday Lohan in soccer cleats. She's doing dumb things
and making stupid decisions and doesn't give a damn how bad it looks. As long as she
stays relevant and in the public eye, then it's all good. Like Kim and the other Kardashians,
Solo is so full of drama and herself that she doesn't care that her moral compass is pointing
straight down. Wouldn't be suprised if she teams up with Lolo Jones to form their own
reality series, "Solo and Lolo". Now, that would be really bad even in the sea of mindless