Wednesday, November 21, 2012

HEY, FACEBOOK FANS! I'M GETTING A DIVORCE!



It's clearly a You-Face-Twit world and we're all just fueling its engine. Every picture,
thought, feeling, and proclamation people have, seems to get posted on either
YouTube,  Facebook, or Twitter these days. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but when
people use it to document their lives in five second increments, it can get to be a
little much.

It got to be a little much for me when I read where Danica Patrick, the overhyped
race car driver, was divorcing her husband of seven years. She used Facebook
as a platform to release her statement:

“I am sad to inform my fans that after seven years, Paul (No, not me) and I have
decided amicably  end our marriage,” she said. “This isn’t easy for either of us,                                     but mutually it has come this."


Yeah, it has come to this. Announcing your divorce on Facebook? Seriously? Boy,
I bet Paul's turkey is going to go down real smoothly on Thanksgiving Day. What
are you we  supposed to do? Hit the "like" button? Or comment, "Yeah, you godaddy.com
girl?"

Funny, I haven't seen Patrick post, tweet, or download video to YouTube of her
recent wins on the track, lately. Oh, yeah. The first and only time she was in victory lane,
gas was $1.89 per gallon, the cost of a movie was $6, and Tim Tebow was in high
school creating "Tebowing".


I'm sure Patick will post video of her breaking the news to her husband on YouTube
tomorrow. It'll go something like this.

Danica: Paul, I'm leaving you.

Paul: Nooooooo! I got nowhere else to go! (sniffle, sniflle). What are you doing?

Danica: Oh, I'm just updating my Facebook page to let my fans know that I'm
dropping you like a lug nut and I need a new wing-man.

Danica's post on Facebook came a few days after University of Minnesota wide
receiver A.J. Barker tweeted the the world that he was quitting the team. He then
instructed his "followers" to go to something caller Tumblr. (Facebook and Twitter is
too much on the brain for me, sorry I don't know what it is)


On ajbarker82.tumbler.com, Barker went on a 4,100 word rant, dropping f-bombs
and a few other not-so-nice missles from the mouth, explaining to his coach, Jerry
Kill, why he quit. Barker, whom few outside of his family had ever heard of, was
acting as if this was, "The Decision II" and somebody actually cared about it. However,
thanks to the information super highway, his profanity-laced docudrama was available
for the entire world to see.

Back in the day, real men used to do that kind of stuff face-to-face. In today's
social-media addicted world,  people like Barker hide behind e-mails, text, Facebook,
Twitter, and apparently, Tumblr, to show their bravado. Barker, who is a junior,
tweeted a prelude to his big finish, taking thinly-veiled shots at his head coach.

              "You really look pathetic when you take advantage of people"

I half-expected Jerry Kill to tweet back, "Barker can't handle the truth and he likes
quiche, pedicures, and "The Bachelorette." But give Kill some credit, he's old school
and doesn't need to lob greenades out of the social media cannon.

Danica Patrick is a marketing genius, she has managed to make millions of dollars
despite never really winning anything of consequence. Barker has apparently been
taking good notes. He knows that in this You-Face-Twit world, anyone can become
an Internet sensation overnight. Nobody knew of Barker last week, but he's all


over the world-wide web now and has been talked about ad nauseum on ESPN,
blogs, and sports talk radio. His name is out there. I'm sure somebody will invite
him to be on a reality show in the near future.

This is really setting a bad, bad precedent and example. High School athletes will
read Barker's manifesto and start tweeting everybody but their coaches they're
quitting. Don't believe me? Young athletes imitate everything they hear and see
on "SportsCenter" or read on-line. From the way the dress, act, and to what they
say, the youth of America tries real hard to be like America's professional athletes.

Facebook and Twitter are going to put public relation companies out of business,
after all, why pay the experts anything when you can reach the masses and tell
your story of why you quit or in Danica Patrick's case, why you're getting a
divorce, when you can to it on all the social media vehicles.

Husband: "What's wrong, honey?
Wife:  "Oh, nothing, Paul. But you better check Facebook and then call your lawyer."

It's become insane. It really has.

No comments:

Post a Comment