Friday, November 30, 2012


Charlie Chaplin once said, "A day without laughter is a day wasted." Well, if good ole Charlie
was living and read about some the recent events of the sports world, every day would be a
LOL one. As he was doubling over in laughter, he'd  probably bark out, "You just can't make
this stuff up. LMAO!"

He's right. On Wednesday, a top prospect of an NHL team, made headlines by recording
a .30 on a Breathalyzer test. That was pretty amazing but that's not what made the story so
laughable. Riley Sheahan, who is playing for an affiliate of the Detroit Red Wings, was wearing
a teletubby costume when he was pulled over. It was a purple one, which my sources tell me,
is "Tinky Winky" in the teletubby family. I don't know how Sheahan will ever live this one down.

But it got a lot better and more comical on Thursday when I read the headlines of a sports web
site. I look at the row of stories and said to myself, "Good, Lord. You couldn't make this stuff
up if you tried." Here's a sample of the day's headlines:

Woman Brawl at Macho Camacho's Wake. Hector "Macho" Camacho is still causing
controversy even in death. Two woman claiming to be Camacho's girlfriend got into a fight
at the late boxer's wake.

"I am the actual girlfriend of Macho, and those who don't like it better not bring it," said
Cynthia Castillo, who claimed to be Camacho's girlfriend at the time of his death. "They
shouldn't be going after me. They should be thanking me for being with him at all times."

Reality show producers are on the way. They don't need videotape, the visual will do
just fine.

Oh, but it gets better....

Lawsuit Says Andrew Bynum Was A 'Terrible' Neighbor. The former neighbors
of former Los Angeles Lakers center, Andrew Bynum, filed a lawsuit against the current
Philadelphia 76er who is out indefinitely after suffering an injury while bowling (I'm serious)
saying he was out of control.

The neighbors of Bynum said he brandished firearms, used drugs, allowed weed smoke
to drift next door, blasted loud profane rap music, and raced his sports cars around the
neighborhoods at dangerous speeds.

Bynum filed a countersuit claiming that his neighbors threw coins at his Ferrari, screamed at
him about his music, and banged his house with a large stick.

What's the big deal? It's not like Tiger Woods was there with all his strippers or Lindsay
Lohan smacked anybody upside the head or stole somebody's jewelry. Bynum and the
neighbors should be arrested for arrested development. Pure kindergarten stuff.

New Orleans Saints Tweet Their Bus Got Egged At Airport. If it was reported on
Twitter, then by golly, it must be news. As the New Orleans Saints were being bused away
from Atlanta's Hartfsfield Airport on Wednesday, they were allegedly egged by workers
at the airport. Chase Daniel, the Saints back-up quarterback and number one Twit, tweeted:

"Wow ... we start getting eggs thrown (at) us by airport workers! Guess they do hate us!"

Call General Petreaus and send in the reinforcements. Oh, wait a minute. Petreaus is currently
unavailable. Well, then call Jill Kelley, she has diplomatic immunity and can provide protection
for the Saints against those dangerous people at the airport throwing eggs. The Saints should've
concentrated on beating the Falcons on Thursday night. Daniels may have tweeted: "Brees sucked.
Threw 5 picks. We lost. Hope we don't get egged by our fans when we get back to NOLA".

I was starting to wonder if I had a sports web site or the National Enquirer. This stuff was
absolutely ridiculous. But wait, there's more silliness..

Bears Receiver Brandon Marshall Says Players Use Viagara For 'Edge'. First of
all, consider the source. Marshall is on more meds for mental disorders than actress Sean
Young. He's admitted that he's bipolar and has personality disorders. Hello. Marshall
claims that many players in the NFL have turned to the little blue pill to give them length on
the field. I haven't heard of any players calling their doctors after more than four hours
so this story CANNOT be true, right?

The great thing about covering sports is that no two days are ever alike. That's for sure.
That's for dang sure.


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