Tuesday, August 28, 2012

PENN STATE DUMPS 'SWEET CAROLINE' AND MORE.


Penn State says it will no longer play "Sweet Caroline" during football games. Smart
move. A few of the lyrics from Neil Diamonds hit song include, "touching you, touching
me." After the Sandusky pedophile scandal, that was the appropriate thing to do.
However, officials at Penn State are saying that the removal of the song has nothing to
do with the case, just that it was time for the song to be left of the playlist. Really? Why
does Penn State have to lie? Just be honest and tell it like it is. You'd think they learned
something from the disaster that ruined the school's reputation and football program.

The Dallas Cowboys have instituted strict guidelines for Dez Bryant, their talented but
brain dead receiver. You see, the team's former number one pick is a magnet for trouble.
If there's trouble out there, Bryant finds it. The new rules for Bryant include no alcohol
or patronizing strip clubs. The Cowboys surely don't want Bryant to make it "rain" like
 Pac Man Jones once did, causing mayhem and death at a Vegas club. My favorite one
of the rules deals with Bryant only being allowed to visit nightclubs approved by the team.
Translation: Bryant can't go to any of them where Michael Irvin, Nate Newton, or Thomas
"Hollywood" Henderson are in attendance.

The Boston Red Sox may have rinsed away some of the toxins from the clubhouse with
the Gonzalez, Beckett, and Crawford trade, but that doesn't mean the Sawx are no longer
drama free. Alfredo Aceves, the team's closer went ballistic after finding out that Bobby
Valentine passed him and his 4.60 ERA over in favor of Andrew Bailey during  the
end of a recent contest. Aceves was suspended for three games by the team and the Red
Sox wouldn't let him board the team flight to Anaheim. Aceves had to get his seat
to California. Ex-peeeeed-ia. Daaaat.com

Josh Beckett made his debut with the Dodgers on Monday night. Wearing  61,
which is the number he broke into the big leagues with, not the figure for the people he
alienates on a daily basis, Becker gave up a home run to Tyler Colvin of Colordo, the first
batter he faced. Last Saturday, Adrian Gonzalez homered in his first at-bat. Weird. Must
be some kind of stat for that. I don't think two players in the same trade had such different
results in initial "efforts" for their new teams.

Tim Tebow will attend confession on Sunday at St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York City.
ESPN will have wall-to-wall coverage, with expert analysis from the Pope, who will also
Tweet about the confession.

Can the people at the Little League World Series move the fences back, please?! Every
pop up is a home run and nobody wants to see 15-14 games. The distance of those fences
originally installed were made up way back when and long before kids started juicing like
they are today. Just kidding, lighten up.

Back to the Red Sox. Do you think they regret not signing Adrian Beltre? The Rangers third
baseman is an MVP candidate with major power numbers and a gold glove. Let's see, the
Sox gave $142 million to Carl Crawford and $87 million to John Lackey, both were always
hurt,and when they did play, they stunk. Same goes with Dice-K and the $105 million they
spent on him and his 4-hour pitching performances.

Terelle Pryor, a third-string quarterback with the Raiders said the suspension he received
at Ohio State "screwed him" in terms of his progress as a quarterback. Really, Terelle? You're
guilty of taking illegal benefits leading to a scandal that results in the Buckeyes getting put on
probation and YOU got "screwed?" Good Lord.

Ryan Lochte as "The Bachelor" on ABC? Man, that would be both painful and comical.
Saw an interview where he was asked how much seven times four equaled. Lochte said 21.
It's all good.

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