Tuesday, July 24, 2012

JIM LAMPLEY AIN'T A HIPSTER

I thought the foolishness ended with the last press conference of the NBA Finals. I
really believed that the "fake nerd hipster" look that the likes of Lebron James, Dwayne
Wade, and Russell Westbrook helped energize, would go into hibernation for the summer.
The big, horned rim glasses with no lenses made a lot of people say, "What the....?"

I was wrong. Dead wrong. I was surfing through the channels late last night, trying to
combat another bad case of insomnia last night when I happened on to Showtime boxing.
And there he was, Jim Lampley, in all his glory, talking about jabs, uppercuts, and rabbit
punches. But I didn't really hear what the heck he was saying because I was too focused on
those "hipster" glasses, yes, the ones with no lenses. Really? A sixty-something man wearing
that "look" staring into the camera with the huge lens, but with no lenses of his own in his
glasses? That's cool, I guess.


Heck, if it's good enough for Lebron, D-Wade, and the rest of the NBA, then it must
be cool enough for the mouth of boxing. When I was a neophyte in television, the news
directors or consultants always told us to not wearing anything that is a distraction to the
viewer, warning that it could take the focus off what you're saying. By the way, how many
people really remember what these people are saying, anyway? Anchors go on camera and the
first thing people do is check out what they're wearing and see how bad their hair is.
I didn't remember anything that Lampley was saying, I was just amazed that he was
wearing those hipster glasses and wondered if anybody was taking him seriously.


I'm not sure how many of us took the billionaires of basketball seriously this past
season. If birds of a feather flock together, than so do NBA players with hipster glasses.
Lebron and D-Wade don't show up to post-game press conferences without them.
Amare Stoudemire and Kevin Durant wore them proudly for most of the season,
and Westbrook broke out his Sally Jesse Rafael "hipster" glasses with one of the worst
ensembles in NBA history. The superstar of the Oklahoma City Thunder made everybody
say, "OMG" when he showed up to a press conference looking like Urkel. Nice shirt.
What did he say? Did it really matter?


I'm half expecting President Obama to show up for his next state of the union address
with these hipster glasses on. After all, with his approval ratings the way that they
are, the man could use some help, especially with the younger voters. And some young
people have actually taken affront to all these athletes and celebrities trying to be hipsters
with the fake nerd glasses. One girl has step up a Facebook page with a headline that
reads:

FAKE NERD HIPSTER GLASSES ARE RUINING MY GENUINE NERDINESS


She has 24 likes on her page. It might be significantly more very soon. I can see this all
leading to a blockbuster movie, "Revenge of the Nerds: You Ain't Hip."

Last Friday night, I was watching Dateline NBC when Anne Curry broke in with an
update on the shooting in Colorado. For some reason, Curry was wearing these huge hipster
glasses, except that they did, indeed have lenses. They looked awfully nerdy and pretty
ridiculous. When she returned at the top of the hour,  Curry no longer had those glasses on.
Apparently, a producer or the head of NBC News told her to take them off and trash them.

I just wish that would happen with a lot of other people, too.

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