Thursday, June 14, 2012
CHASING LANCE ARMSTRONG
Our government spent a lot of time and millions of dollars trying to nail Barry Bonds
for saying he didn't "knowingly" use steroids. They brought in all kinds of experts and
witnesses to say that his head got bigger while his genitals got smaller. The Home Run
King had zits on his back and would sometimes yell at people implying that he must've had
'roid rage. Did anybody test Mike Ditka for steroids during his coaching career because
he surely must've had 'roid rage, too.
What did the government get on Bonds for their efforts? Nothing of significance. Oh, sure,
there was an obstruction of justice charge but that's hardly enough to re-open Alcatrez and
put Bonds in solitary confinement. It was all a waste of time, energy, and taxpayer money.
The government spent two years and a whole lot of money trying to nail Lance Armstrong,
but they learned something from their handling of the Bonds case, waved the white flag, and
just packed it in.
Now the United States Anti-Doping Agency is bowing up and going after the 7-time
Tour de France champion. They informed Armstrong this week that they were going to
investigate his alleged doping because they had "witnesses" who saw Armstrong get
needled in the ass or heard Armstrong talk about using PED's. Now, let's keep in mind that
most of these witnesses are former cylcists like Floyd Landis and Todd Hamilton, who are
both convicted liars, deniers, and cheaters. Yeah, that's what you call air-tight, fool-proof
The USADA also says they are in possession of blood samples from 2009 and 2010 that
show elevated levels of testosterone in Armstrong's platelets or something. Really? You've
had these samples since 2009 and 2010 and did nothing? You just sat around waiting for
2012 to say, "Gotcha!" USADA, you've got nothing.
Do I think Armstrong used some form of PED's during his reign of cycling? Well, he never
failed a single test, but that just means he was probably smarter than the dopes like Landis
and Hamilton whose levels of testosterone were like that of Arnold Schwartznegger after he
got pricked by Franco Columbu before winning Mr. Olympia seven times in a row.
Just about everyone in baseball was using something during the steroid era, but only the
dumb ones got caught. Same goes for cycling. The Tour de France is flat out insane. If
you bike almost 2,000 miles over 21 days, you're not getting by on Bananas, Power Bars
and Gu gel packs alone. Cyclists need something a little more powerful to get them through
the challenging endurance test.
Enough is enough. The government failed in trying to bring Armstrong down and so will the
USADA. Just because somebody says they saw Armstrong pump a needle in his buttocks
doesn't mean anybody can actually prove that PED's were in the syringe. I'm not a lawyer,
but I did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night. They have zero chance of hanging anything
on Armstrong. None. Zippo. Nada. The government, backed by a blank check, got nothing.
The USADA will get skunked as well.
Let Armstrong be. He's retired from the sport. It'd be like Major League Baseball going
after Mike Piazza. There are plenty of people from reporters to teammates, to clubhouse
personnel who can tell you about the legendary zits on his back. He went from a below average
minor-league player to a first ballot Hall of Famer. Was it all hard work and "maturity"? No,
but Piazza. although we heard the whispers over the years, never failed a drug test or left a
paper trail that the Mitchell Report posse could discover.
Armstrong has raised millions and millions of dollars for cancer research. He has given many hope
in their fight against the disease. He is doing a lot of good for a lot of people. Forget about taking
him down. It's over. The government had their chance and all this should be over.
During one of his Tour de France wins, Armstrong famously turned back and looked all the
riders who were trying to catch him. They never did. Neither will the USADA.