Tuesday, May 15, 2012


I watch the NBA about as often as I listen to Screamin' A. Smith and Skip Bayless on ESPN,
which is never. I wouldn't know Russell Westbrook from Russell Stover and there's a good
chance you wouldn't, either. His Q-rating is lower than a canary's IQ. Westbrook is a terrific
player with the Oklahoma City Thunder, which is a team in the Western Conference, for
those scoring at home. After OKC putting a thumping on the Lakers in the first game of their
series, Westbrook strode to the podium looking like Erkel all grown up. He had the glasses and
a shirt with a pattern that looked like something Lindsay Lohan would've come up with after
an all-night bender. OMG. LOL. WTF? They all apply to this look.

I'm sure after Westbrook came out in this ensemble, Twitter, Facebook, and all the other
ridiculous social media networks were on overload. Everybody was talking, and I'm sure that's
what Westbrook wanted. Damn, his stats in the basketball game. He looked like Erkel and people
were talking. Mission accomplished. But Westbrook's outfit brought to mind a few other one's
that somehow got past the fashion police. Westbrook's teammate, Kevin Durant, possesses
freakish skills on the court, but how his mother let him out of the house with this outfit on

is beyond me. The guys on the "Queer Eye For The Straight Guy" would have trouble explaining
this one to the masses. Is Durant going to jump out of a plane after the press conference and
parachute to safety? The guy makes $10 million a year and this in the best he could do? How
could Durant look in the mirror and say, "Yeah, I'm down with this"? How do you wash
something like this outfit, anyway? Dwayne Wade of the Miami Heat has style, but sometimes
he just tries to hard. What's up with the bow-tie, D-Wade? A guy with a nickname like that

shouldn't be wearing a bow-tie. He looks like he's paying tribute to one of his professors at Marquette, not that he ever went to class or anything. And what's up with the patch on the
glasses? Is he paying homage to Lisa Left Eye with that sticker? Maybe all these NBA guys
have seen too much of Craig Sager of TBS over the years. Sager breaks out the pastels and
all kinds of crazy patterns so everybody says, "What the hell are you wearing?" If nobody
was talking, Sager would be insignificant. But they certainly chirp about his colorful wardrobe.

I don't know how Dwight Howard of the Magic kept a straight face during this interview.
Sager's blazer looks like it came out of the Bronx Zoo's reptile exhibit. How does anybody say,
"Yeah, this is classy"? It's all about shock value and getting people to talk, tweet, and FB about
what your wearing. Look at me, I'm writing about all these interesting outfits. Like Westrbook
and D-Wade, Amare Stoudamire prefers to go with the studious look.

Stoudamire sometimes looks like he was a Phi Beta Kappa at an Ivy League School, rather
than a stud who went straight from high school to the NBA. Hey, as Madonna once sang,
"Express yourself" and NBA players sure got the message. Michael Jordan always showed up
in a $10, 000 suit and looked like he came straight out of the pages of GQ, Forget the parachute,
sweaters, and glasses, Jordan had style and he was classy. My favorite athlete of all-time at
press conferences is Clinton Portis of the Washington Redskins. The veteran running back
always has a colorful outfit for the cameras, microphones and members of the media.

And you have to give Portis credit, he not only comes up with great outfits, but nicknames,
as well. His characters include, "Sheriff Gonna Getcha", "Southeast Jerome", "Coach Janky
Spanky" and Choo-Choo. Portis is entertaining and if you're a member of the media, how can
you not like his creativity? Bold, original, and never off the rack. I love it.

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