more than 20 feet and 2,000 pounds. That is both scary and ridiculous. They dragged the shark
almost two miles to shore and yes, they definitely could've used a bigger boat.
In honor of the two hombres who reeled in the big one, we present a few other people who
are going to need a bigger boat.
METTA WORLD PEACE. The thug formerly known as Ron Artest, is going to need a bigger
boat to ship all that money to the NBA offices after he learns what Commissioner David Stern thought of his vicious elbow that landed on the noggin' of Oklahoma City's James Harden, who
kind of looks like Kimbo Slice after he skipped a few cycles of HGH or whatever it is that he got from Jose Canseco. That might be a touch foul on the mean streets of the Bronx, but in the NBA,
that pointed elbow to Harden's cranium is going to cost Metta World Peace about 100G.
BOSTON RED SOX FANS. You're going to need a bigger boat to accommodate the number
of Red Sox fans who hate Bobby Valentine. You're probably going to have to make room for
the number of players in Boston who dislike V, too. We'll name Kevin Youkillis captain of the
vessel with Dustin Pedroia as the navigator.
PHIL HUMBER, "MR. PERFECTION". Phil Humber is going to need a bigger boat to
handle all the people who will now come out of the woodwork asking for tickets, autographs,
money, and just about anything else they can try to mooch off the man who just pitched the
21st perfect game in Major League history. He'll also need extra room for all the scouts who
just knew the journeyman of the Chicago White Sox was a capable of perfection.
VANCOUVER CANUCKS You're going to need a bigger boat to make room for all the
excuses they're going to use for getting knocked out by the Los Angeles Kings in the first round
of the playoffs. The Canucks had the best record in the NHL this season and they choked on the chalupa-- again. Hope the fans don't destroy their city like the idiots did last year. If anybody
cared about hockey in this country, this would make some headlines, but nobody does outside
of fans of the original six teams. If you're any kind of fan or care about hockey, you'll know
who the original six teams are.
|Oh, effin no! Not again!|