Thursday, November 24, 2011

TOP 10 SPORTS TURKEYS OF THE YEAR


10. STEVIE WILLIAMS. Stevie-boy made sure he was the most
talked about caddy in the history of the game in about a six month
period. He got fired by Tiger Woods, whom he teamed up to win
12 majors. Then he was hired by Adam Scott and they won their
first tournament together. After walking down the 18th fairway
to chants of "Stevie! Stevie! Stevie!, he was more than happy to
give an interview where he proclaimed this victory in a non-major
to be the "greatest in my life." A definite dig at his former master.
But then, during a banquet for caddies, Williams got full of himself
again and said he wanted to beat "Tiger's black a---" That's real
class. Williams has gone back to being one of the most hated men
in golf.


9. UNDER ARMOUR AND MARYLAND. The Terps get the
honor for firing Ralph Friedgen, the reigning ACC Coach of the
Year and wearing those ridiculous uniforms manufactured by
Under Armour and their Maryland graduate and de facto athletic
director, Kevin Plank. Both Plank and Maryland both wanted to
make a statement and change the perception of the football program.
Boy, did they ever. The Terps, for all their pomp and circumstance
are 2 and 9. Image is nothing.

8. TIKI BARBER. Tough year for Tiki. He leaves his pregnant
wife for a 23-year old NBC groupie, gets fired from his job. Hid
out in his agents home to avoid the press and compares himself to
Holocaust victims. Then Tiki tries to jump-start his NFL career and
make a comeback but guess what? Not a single team even bothered
to invite him to training camp. What's that saying about Karma?
It certainly found Tiki the Turkey.


7. JORGE POSADA. With an average hovering near .160, the
Yankees catcher was moved to ninth in the the order by manager
Joe Giradi. Posada had one big hissy fit and told his boss and
former teammate a day off to "clear my head". This all happened
against the Red Sox on national television. How do you think this
one played out? Posada was portrayed as another entitled self-
absorbed athlete who got all bent out of shape when he got what
he deserved. This is one big chink on a career that was pretty
darn good before this year.

6. MIKE LEAKE. The Cincinnati Reds pitcher took a detour
to the local mall before going to the park and stole a few designer
t-shirts from a store. The value of the shirts was under $150.
Seriously, Mike. You were making over $500,000 did you really
need to rip off the shirts? Store cameras caught Leake in the cookie
jar and he was arrested. Leake took a nice mug shot, though.


5. TERRELL OWENS. The controversial receiver announced
himself and fit and ready to go during an "exclusive" ESPN interview
with Screamin' A. Smith. During this strange sit-down with Smith,
T.O. announced he was retiring with his family, who could've made
for great cigar store Indians, behind him. T.O. then said, "you're
fooled" to Smith who had egg on his face. A few weeks later,
T.O had a 10-egg omelet on his mug after he had a personal
workout and not a single NFL team showed up. Nothing. Crickets.


4. KRIS HUMPHRIES. In a Ryan Seacrest production,
Kim Kardashian certainly picked a big turkey to play the fool.
Humphries, who tries to play basketball for the New Jersey Nets
gave Kim an engagement ring that cost $2 million, or $2 million
more than his current salary during the NBA lockout. After an
extravagant made-for-tv wedding that cost $20 million or $20
million more than his current salary during the NBA lockout,
Humphries got the boot after just 72-days. Can't wait until the
season starts again so we can hear NBA players talk trash
to the former Mr. Kardashian. Charles Barkley, Gary Payton,
and Michael Jordan might just come of retirement to abuse
Humphries.


3. JIM TRESSEL-BRUCE PEARL. The former coaches
of Ohio State and Tennessee, respectively, had great, high-
profile, high-paying jobs and were extremely successful. But
when they got caught cheating, they made things worse by
lying to cover it up. And they lost everything because of it.
Both were fired.


2. JOHN LACKEY, JON LESTER, JOSH BECKETT.
The triumvirate of Boston Red Sox pitchers were outed for
eating chicken wings, drinking beer, and playing video games
in the clubhouse while the rest of the team was battling in a
pennant race. Lackey was up for the top turkey of the year
for calling out a member of the Boston media for sending him
a personal text 30 minutes before a game he was starting.
Turns out it was from TMZ asking about his divorce from
a wife who is battling breast cancer.

1. MANNY RAMIREZ. Once a Hall of Fame lock, Ramirez
left the game in shame after failing a test for performance-enhancing
drugs before the beginning of last season. Technically, it was
his third failed drug test and he was going to be suspended for
100 games. Instead of taking the heat, Ramirez took the next flight
home to the islands. Manny being Manny suddenly wasn't so cool.
The most feared right-handed hitter the game had ever seen is
now it's biggest joke.

No comments:

Post a Comment