Saturday, October 1, 2011


Terry Francona suggested the Red Sox "needed a new voice" and
it was time to move. In this day and age of overpaid, prima dona
players who don't listen, care, or respect anything you say, can
you blame him? The Red Sox clubhouse was like the high school
cafeteria filled with divas, drama queens, and losers. Imagine
the stuff Francona had to put up with.

Francona: Yo, Adrian. Check out these stats on tonight's starter.

Gonzalez: Sorry, Skip. God has another plan for me. I'm channeling
my inner Lucifer. I hope I'm blessed to have the strength to go
3-for-4 and petition Bud Selig to have fewer night games.

Francona: (Walks away, shakes his head and mutters, "WTF?"

The Red Sox manager sees John Lackey three stalls over and
decides to make small talk.

Francona: Hey, Big John. How's the wife?

Lackey: (Near tears) She's all right. But Tito, somebody texted
me a bad message. I want my mommy. Nobody ever did this
to me in Cali.

Francona: Good grief.

If, like Francona says, the Red Sox do need a new voice.
Here are the Top 5 candidates who have voices that could
shake up the team's clubhouse.

5. MIKE SINGLETARY. He'd rule clubhouse with iron fist.

4. DENNIS GREEN. Former NFL coach who wouldn't let
    Lackey off the hook.


3. KEN BORSETH. The dark horse.


2. JIM MORA. He'll answer ALL dumb questions.

1. HAL McCRAE.  Old school who wouldn't take Shaughnessy 
    or his questions.

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