Sunday, August 28, 2011

CHANNELING MY INNER AL ROKER.

When bad weather breaks, it's 'Go Time' for news reporters and weather people, both certified and certifiable hacks, around the country. As Bill Evans, chief meteorologist of ABC in New York said,
"it's our Super Bowl". Television stations cover hurricanes and blizzards like ESPN covers college
football, all-out, all the time. Updates, news alerts, breaking news, this video just in, continuous coverage. It's really quite fascinating, yet comical.


It seems like every reporter in the country is auditioning for "Good Morning Today, Tomorrow, and
Next Week." They make sure the DVR's are rolling when the wrath of Hurricane Irene smacks them
in the face and blows off their hat. Sometimes it appears to be just another edition of ABC's "Wipe-Out", where contestants are falling all over the place while trying to get to the promised land. Can we see
another shot of the fearless reporter holding onto a tree or a pole as he tries to talk with a gallons worth
of water getting shoved down his throat by a tropical storm?


This year's coverage was both nauseating and entertaining. I mean, why do we tune in and stare for
hours at the television? It's as if some people are waiting to see a reporter get sucked up in the eye of
the hurricane like Augustus Groop got the hydrovac treatment in "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate
Factory."

My favorite memory from the coverage of Hurricane Irene was the moment an "intreprid" reporter knew
that his get-me-to the-network live shot was ruined by a streaker strutting his stuff.


Television stations, especially the local ones, put most of their eggs in one basket when it comes to
weather. Their crack-staff consultants stationed in Cedar Rapids, Iowa by absolute failures as news
anchors and reporters, say that weather drives the ratings. It's all about the  weather. "First weather",
"Fast weather," "Guarateed accurate weather." The latter didn't last long considering the average
weather person hits on only about 25 percent of his forecasts.

If Tom Brady connects on 25 percent of his passes, he's JaMarcus  Russell and he's out of a job. But
if you're a weather anchor, you can be wrong as often as LeBron James and his "posse" are  in a Think Tank. Just as long  as you have personality and do stupid things like this Tucker Barnes guy in the video below.


Seriously? How stupid was that? What did we learn? That good old  Tucker is a self-absorbed idiot
who can get covered in layers of Baby Ruth bars? These live shots are never about the weather, but
the reporters themselves. How can we outdo the next guy? How far can we push  the envelope? Do
these reporters ever say anything meaningful? Yeah, we can see that it's raining as much as Brad Steinke
of Fox Sports Arizona cries when he doesn't get his way. At least  these ego-laden acts are entertaining. Sometimes.

No comments:

Post a Comment