Thursday, April 7, 2011

LEBRON'S MOM SHOWS OFF HER TALENTS IN SOUTH BEACH

In case you missed it, Gloria James, mother of the most famous basketball
player of the planet, was arrested at around 5am on Thursday in South Beach.
Lebron wasn't around to bail her out, but he couldn't have been too happy
about dealing with this type of publicity.

Ms. James, who was also arrested for DUI in 2006, allegedly had some
choice words for a valet, who apparently took too long in fetching her car.

Details are still sketchy, but Ms. James, allegedly knocked the valet
upside da head with her Louis Vuitton purse. LeBron's mom is turning
into the Lindsay Lohan of the NBA, as she always seems to be in trouble.

There were rumors in Cleveland that she was sleeping with Delonte West,
a teammate of her son with the Cavaliers. I think Nike needs to make
another commercial on the LeBron's, this one featuring the King and his
mom showing off their talents in South Beach.

In light of LeBron's mom's troubles, I bring you the TOP 5 mothers
of pro/college athletes.

5.MILDRED HARRISON. The mother of the Steelers All-Pro hit man
James Harrison, was arrested for simple assault in 2009. She was hosting
a party for a Thursday night special between the Steelers and Browns, but
it was Mildred, who turned out to be the main event. Amidst the chaos, four
people were injured when they were hit in the head by beer bottles. Mildred
had her mug shot taken with her Steelers jersey on. She was also fined
$100,000 by NFL commissioner Roger Goodell for excessive violence.

4. ALLA KOURNIKOVA The mother of Anna, the hottest female tennis
player to ever hit the courts, was arrested for child neglect in 2010. No, she
didn't leave Anna alone at home with Richard Williams, father of the famous sisters.
But Mrs. Kournikova did leave her 5-year son at home, while she went to run
a few "errands." The neighbors saw the kid climbing out of second-story window
and felt it was time to call the police. Well, at least Mrs. K dead-bolted the front
door so junior couldn't get out the through the front.

3. ANGELA BRYANT. Jeff Ireland, the GM of the Miami Dolphins, made
headlines last year after it was discovered that he asked Dez Bryant, during a
pre-draft interview if his mother was a prostitute. Ireland is extremely lucky
that Dez showed remarkable restraint and that he didn't end up wearing cement
shoes somewhere at the bottom of  the Keys. But Angela does have one
heckuva past. In 2007, she spent 18 months in prison after selling crack.
Then in 2009, she  was arrested for controlling an illegal substance, (crack),
but somehow got off with 10 months of probation. Is it any real surprise that
her son, Dez, a first-round pick of the Dallas Cowboys, has nearly an
$800,000 bill for a boat of diamonds?

2. KELLY BRAXTON. You never heard of Kelly Braxton before this
blog, and chances are you'll never hear about her after you read this. In
2010, just hours after her son, Braxton, put pen to paper and signed
a national letter-of-intent to play football at Ohio State, Kelly channeled
her inner Terry Tate, the crazy office linebacker in those Reebok commercials.
She started attacking everyone in the family and was wielding a knife when
the police arrived. Kelly was arrested for assault. Her family admitted that
she had mental problems. Really? Ya think?

1. GLORIA JAMES. She's been arrested so often, she should be playing
for the Cincinnati Bengals. Gloria would fit right in with those outlaws. Somehow,
I don't think we've heard the last of the mother of King James. I'm thinking
she should have a steel-cage death match with Mildred Harrison on pay-per-view.
Sign me up. I'd pay $49.95 for that one.

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