Monday, March 28, 2011

JOSE CANSECO: THE APPRENTICE TO A MAJOR TRAIN WRECK.


Jose Canseco is the freak show at the carnival. No matter how hard
you try, you can't take your eyes off him. He's the stock car
going 200 mph into a turn without a restrictor plate, or a clue. You know
he's going to crash, but you don't turn the channel because you want
to see just how horrific it will be.

This is what the former AL rookie of the Year and MVP has become.
A one-man reality series that's guaranteed to bring good ratings, as
well as a tragic ending. Canseco should've been gone from our
consciousness long ago, but his appetite for money, attention, and a
desire to change the past, has kept him in the papers, on the Internet,
and as part of our viewing schedules.

On Sunday night, Canseco was on "The Apprentice," and suddenly
quit. He said that his father, who is reportedly battling cancer, took a
turn for the worse, and that he had to return to Miami. Hopefully, Mr.
Canseco recovers and can fight off this insidious disease. However,
a lot of eyes did roll when Jose made his stunning announcement. After all,
he has become the master of publicity stunt and there are many who are
accusing Cansesco of using his father's health to gain sympathy--for himself.

Last Monday morning, his name was littered across the Internet for a
scam only Canseco could concoct. He was accused of switching his
twin brother in for a  boxing match that Jose was supposed to take part
 in. Jose was given $5,000 up front and  promised another $5,000 when
he showed up. Trouble was,  Jose wasn't the one wearing boxing trunks.
It was Ozzie, Jose's identical twin, who has also filled in for him, occasionally,
at autograph signings.

After discovering he had been had, the promoter of the fight
refused to give Canseco, the other $5,000 he had been promised.
Of course, Jose put the blame on the promoter and went straight
to Twitter to let the world know about it:

"Be very careful with Damon feldman who runs celebrity boxing he
will not pay you if you fight for him."

This is how delusional Canseco has become. He thinks if a Canseco
that walks, talks, and probably boxes like him, the check
still has to be written out to Jose.

Jose has been chasing the dollar since being blackballed by Major League
Baseball for essentially starting the steroid-era and outing fellow cheaters
in a best-selling book. Canseco made a quick buck, but in the process,
became a pariah. His best friends deserted him, calls to potential employers
were not returned.

Dead broke despite making more than $50 million in his baseball career,
Canseco, who was known as "the chemist" because of his knowledge
of steroids and cycles, had to brew up a plan to keep from going homeless.

He tried mixed-martial arts, but that career ended in about 20 seconds when
a 7-foot man from Hong Kong knocked him silly. There was an exhibition
boxing match against former NFL special teams ace, Vai Sikahema. That bout
lasted about 10 seconds longer than the "gong in Hong Kong".

Canseco tried making a comeback in baseball,  playing in an independent league
you've never heard of. He wrote on Twitter that he still had the best bat
speed in baseball and challenged A-Rod to a home run hitting contest.
If you check out YouTube and search for Jose Canseco, you'll see the
572 foot HR that he posted. I must admit it was pretty impressive, especially
since he did it with a softball.

Canseco also started his own web site that offered people the chance
to "hang" out with him, for a price, of course. Desperate times call
for desperate measures and Canseco is writing the book on them.

It seems as if Canseco is desperately trying to not only to secure
his future, but re-write his past. He was rock-star in baseball, fueled
by steroids, and blessed with good-looks. Canseco was the
highest-paid player in the game, a man who dated Madonna, and
belted 462 home runs, many of them tape-measure jobs.

But he threw it all away, and many of his friends under the bus.
He had it all, and all he has now is a incorrigible reputation. Canseco
can never change the past. He gets credit for starting the steroid-era,
and for being the man who all but ended it. That's how Canseco's
career in baseball has been written. How the rest of his life goes,
is still in the works.

On the last episode of "The Apprentice", Canseco played a gay-man
for a commercial that his team produced. Afterwards, Canseco stated
that he'd get some ribbing from his family and that "if (my) dad sees
this, he's going to kill me."

Just imagine what his dad would've done if he had tuned in for the last 20
years of Jose's life?

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