5. BRETT SABERHAGEN Former pitcher and 2-time Cy Young Award winner.
Great pitcher but Saberhagen suffered from what a lot of athletes do: permanent
adolescence. When he was with the New York Mets, he was suspended by Major
League Baseball for spraying bleach on a bunch of reporters. He also threw a
firecracker into a pack of them. His biggest blunder, though, came when he was
with the Boston Red Sox. Saberhagen purchased a second cell phone
so his girlfriends could call him on it to keep from his wife finding out.Unfortunately,
Saberhagen left the "chick" phone at home one day and his wife found it. Uh-oh.
She was gone quicker than Sandra Bullock when she left Jesse James. No second
chances, no chance for sex rehab. Lynn, who was drop dead gorgeous and a talented
singer, was gone in a heartbeat. She divorced Saberhagen, which was his second. While
playing for the Red Sox in 1998, Saberhagen admitted that he didn't really want to be
there because he was playing for virtually nothing. He wasn't kidding. After paying alimony,
legal fees, agents, and taxes, Saberhagen was netting 13 cents on every dollar
he was paid from the Red Sox. True story.
4. SEAN SALISBURY Ex-quarterback became an ex-EPSN analyst after word got
out that he took a cell phone picture of his little Sean and showed it to a co-worker at
a party. Salisbury didn't realize that co-workers, especially in television, are not your
friends and want to bring you down and this person did as she went running to HR. Salisbury
apparently didn't learn his lesson because in his next job as a jock at a Dallas radio
station, he allegedly sent some racy text to an intern. Going...going..gone. Those who
don't learn from history, are bound to repeat it.
3. GREG ODEN Center for the Portland Trailblazers. (We think) Because of injuries,
Oden has been the invisible man in the NBA. Many thought he was in the witness
protection program until his picture showed up on the Internet one day. He took
a picture of himself standing butt-naked in the bathroom. He then sent the picture
on his cell to his girlfriend, or one of them anway. Hell-ooooooo
Internet. And hello, Johnson. If Oden never makes it back to the NBA, he might have
better luck in another form of entertainment. I think you know where I'm headed with
2. BRETT FAVRE Future Hall of Famer Quarterback. Like Saberhagen I think Favre
suffered from terminal adolescence. I mean, how else can you describe a 40 + man, who
is married with kids, taking out the cell phone and taking pictures of "little Brett". Hey,
Brett, nice crocs, by the way. Worse off, he not only sent the picture to
Jenn Sterger, but texts and voicemails as well. They all showed up on Deadspin
and Favre's reputation was tarnished forever. Nobody can look at Favre without thinking
about the scandal, and when he makes his Hall of Fame speech in 5 years, aren't you
going to be thinking about the hand, his thing, and those crocs?
1. TIGERS WOODS Need I say more?
HONORABLE MENTION. Jordan Spriggs. Auburn football
player. Using his cell phone, Springs tweeted: Who is good at writing
papers. I paaaaaaaaay!!!!!!! As Charlie Sheen would say, "Duh?"
How stupid can a guy be. Guess Jordan didn't know that question
went out to the whole world, including the NCAA. My guess is that
Jordan is still running steps at 5am as punishment and that he'll be
kicked out of school soon after his football eligibility has expired.